So much YES. So, so much yes, yes. Thank you.
I’m in the midst of a domestic assault legal situation and am facing the writing of my Victim Impact Statement, as his sentencing hearing approaches.
I, too, spent years (and lots of money) getting over being the Victim of domestic abuse decades ago and never expected to find myself here again. It is truly stunning to be unearthing all the crap you so clearly identified and described in your piece.
Now, as I have been in such denial that I allowed someone to make a Victim of me again, I am having a really tough time articulating the effects his violent actions have had on my life. But the effects are definitely churning up all the crap from before, as much of it was trained into me at an early age.
Yes, we must remind ourselves daily that we did nothing wrong to bring this on. And our training to be compassionate and always give people the benefit of the doubt end up, ironically, causing us to doubt our own truths.
Sometimes, kindness is costly. In my case, I trusted a friend, someone I had loved for many years, and in the end, he was a raging, alcoholic lunatic who was jailed for what he did to me. Why is it so hard for me, and even others, to see that it’s not my fault?
