How To Successfully Recreate Yourself In 3 Months (Or Less)
Nicolas Cole

Again, this seems a bit simplistic without the science. A relatively recent study cited in Huff Post suggests it takes 18 -254 days to build a habit, but it is still widely circulated that it takes 3 weeks to form a habit . . . and when I say circulated, I mean circulated as though it were fact. I’m interested in something deeper . . . how much of how long it takes for one to form a habit is actually based on the suggestion of how long it takes? You say at one month “you’ll see no other way” — you say “it becomes your practice.” I can name about 25 ex-smokers who will disagree with you. Perhaps this will come true for some of your readers because they believe in you. But building a habit ‘takes the time it takes’ for the person building the habit, based on so many other factors: her mental outlook (whether she sees herself succeeding or failing, which of course is probably based on her background, and as we know, even two people with the same background may learn something different from said background, i.e. someone who was raised with an alcoholic mother becomes a substance abuser herself due to availability and being shown a different lifestyle, the other decides any amount of alcohol is BAD and never wants to even associate with anyone who drinks, and so she disowns her family not wanting to participate in the lie), her physical capabilities if it involves physical activity, the time she has available for development of a habit, and we can’t just leave out life throwing her a curve ball in the middle of her habit-building, etc.

One so young. Writing to the masses. The masses following. Do they believe? Do they question? Maybe they do, but they are not quite ready to do so publicly or they don’t exactly know how to question — perhaps they feel they would embarrass themselves questioning one with so many followers. Sometimes we learn so much from listening. Listening. Listening. Mistakes are how we learn I tell my students. Mistakes are the way to growth. Hacks are just that. Shortcuts. There is no way to take a shortcut through life that I’m aware of . . .

Life Hack: Informal. a tip, trick, or efficient method for doing or managing a day-to-day task or activity; a hack: a life-hack for overcoming social anxiety;

Life Hack: NOUN. informal. A strategy or technique adopted in order to manage one’s time and daily activities in a more efficient way, i.e. this useful website offers good lifehacks for better use of your time and your technology’

English Oxford Living Dictionaries

Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with being efficient. Leaves you time, I guess, to develop another habit=another efficiency. My ex-husband was very efficient. He adapted his environment to him. I adapt to my environment . . . within reason, of course. He eventually adapted to me doing, well, everything, but as you might imagine that is a whole other story with lots of hills and valleys and words and questions, and mistakes. If one becomes very sure of themselves, very, very sure of themselves, I believe it is very, very dangerous. In an innocent way of course, but dangerous just the same. There are no absolutes. There are no absolutes:

“The transformed speaks only to relinquishers. All holders-on are stranglers.”

This is a quote from Rainer Maria Rilke, and I think it still holds true. There is never one true way to do something because there are no absolutes . . . not where life philosophy and growth are concerned.

And so, what were you saying about habits? I told my writing students that they couldn’t write about certain controversial topics because everything original had already been said about them and they would just end up repeating it. I meant it as a guideline at the time, but of course some took it as a challenge and ran with it.

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