5 Doses Of Unconventional Wisdom For Creating Beyond Burnout
Beyond the physical symptoms of burnout lie your deepest, darkest secrets. The secrets you sneakily keep from *you* more than you keep them from others. It’s clear to everyone around you that you’re not happy. But until that moment when you admit it to yourself, the real healing cannot begin.
Burnout starts in the depths of your being. When you ignore the quiet whispers of your heart for long enough, your body is kind enough to let you know that it’s time for change by screaming at you. Don’t blame your body for letting you down! Start creating a different life that you and your body can be thrilled with.
These five unconventional doses of wisdom are the start of what I wish someone had told me instead of saying ‘take vitamins’ and ‘look after yourself better’. While well-meaning, those bitter little pills didn’t exactly create the change I was seeking.
These new ways of being with myself have created so much bliss beyond the burnout. Bliss, or even a breakthrough, might not sound possible right now — please know that it is… just as soon as you begin to choose something different.
1. SEEK HARMONY, NOT BALANCE
The word balance used to make me want to puke. If you’re trying to do 10,000 things, how is balance even possible? This idea of giving everything in your life equal value, time or attention just didn’t work for me.
I desired so much more of my life than striving and straining to balance the incessant demands I placed on myself! Enter harmony.
What is harmony? It is the sweetness of inviting my life to become a moment by moment choice for what will create the most, rather than trying to fit it all in, even if it kills me.
It is the bliss of removing the separatist barriers between work and play, so that everything in my life could be a contribution to the glorious, adventurous, creative living I actually desired. There’s no more ‘work hard, play hard’… I like making work into play so much more!
It is the ease of allowing different possibilities to show up, rather than trying to control every single crazy thing I could so that everything could be ‘perfect’. (You want a time-saver? Seriously, explore this!!)
2. CREATE RHYTHMS, NOT ROUTINES
“Forming good habits” sounds about as much fun as cleaning the toilet. You know it needs to be done, but who has the energy for that?
For a while I went with creative routines because that at least sounded like I was bringing some order to the chaos. And yet, it still wasn’t satisfactory.
It didn’t give me the bliss or the change that I knew was possible. I was always beating myself up for not consistently sticking to my plans. Until that unexpected moment when I realised that I create through rhythms, not routines.
What is a rhythm? A way of creating that works for you until it doesn’t. A way of easing into the flow of living that allows a whole lot of creative flexibility, while still creating greater possibilities. It’s the awareness of what’s required, without having to do that in any particular way, opening up the doors for serendipitous creations and adventures.
When you create with rhythm, you have a sense of what works for you.
You know that walking in the mornings opens the doors to aha moments. You know that eating when you are hungry works better than eating three meals a day. You know that you need the sparks of inspiration that only travel can provide. And you know that being creative creates more life-giving energy than eating — for you!
When you have creative rhythm, you have presence with YOU! And that makes you productive in a whole new way!
3. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR BRILLIANCE; STOP FIGHTING (FOR) IT
Underneath the beast that is burnout, somewhere there is usually a ‘not good enough’ monster lurking in the shadows.
Here’s the ridiculous thing. You *must* be brilliant, or you wouldn’t have burnout to start with. Have you noticed that an unintelligent person having burnout is rarer than Donald Trump having a good hair day?
Somewhere inside you know you must be brilliant, or you wouldn’t push yourself so hard. Rather than see it in yourself, you fight for others to recognise your brilliance; and you work yourself into the ground to prove you are brilliant, even though it’s blatantly obvious to everyone except you.
And just to make a point, you always do more than anyone else around you, so that no-one can accuse you of slacking. Because that would be terrible. You’d probably have to leave the country or something even worse. Sound familiar?
And you can change this habit in an instant. Start acknowledging your brilliance. I don’t mean turning into a stark, raving lunatic who talks about themselves non-stop to anyone who will listen. I mean that quiet, grateful, joyful acknowledgement of your brilliance that comes when you start to value you.
As in ‘Hey I did well with that’ or ‘Wow, that was pretty easy, time to celebrate!’ or maybe even ‘Ha, I’m smarter than Johnny, even if no-one else wants to know it. I wonder how I can use that to my advantage?’ Notice it’s a different kind of energy than ‘I’m not enough!’?
No-one else can give you this gift. And working harder won’t deliver it either. The sooner you start, the easier it will get. Even if you are the first person in your life who has ever valued you. Until you do, no-one else can.
4. SELF-CARE ISN’T ANOTHER TASK; NURTURE YOU IN EVERY MOMENT
When I had burnout, every health practitioner I saw lectured me about self-care. And it just felt like another thing to add to my stupendously long to-do list. I couldn’t see the joy in that, even though I tried a few things that were recommended to me.
I’m still freaked out by the personal trainer who made me work harder for being exhausted — as if that would change it! And then guilted me non-stop when I said I was quitting because my body couldn’t take it. WTF? For the record, any form of torture is not self-care.
If self-care isn’t another task, how do you nurture you? It starts with the choices you make moment by moment. Is what you are choosing nurturing to you? Or is it diminishing you, exhausting you, undermining you, boring you and making you into everyone’s underpaid slave?
Being kind to you is about knowing what you stand for, knowing what is a contribution to you and knowing that you’ll have your back, even if no-one else in the entire universe does.
That’s a different kind of self-care to the massages and exercise that is mostly prescribed.
What would self-care be for you if you included it in every part of your life? What different choices do you need to make so that you are caring for you?
5. STOP OVER-GIVING; START RECEIVING
You always know exactly what everyone around you needs. And you are killing yourself trying to deliver it all, as if their wish is your command.
It’s only exhausting when you contribute to people who refuse to receive what you are offering them. When your gifts are received, there is more energy for everyone.
Instead of being the most effective martyr on planet earth, hang up those angel wings and open up to the possibility of receiving the contribution of the people around you. When you stop doing everything for them, they’ll begin to fly by themselves. You being a control freak helps no-one, especially you!
I was totally in denial about being a control freak. But I realised I couldn’t receive the contribution of other people if I was controlling everything around me. And frankly, I was so exhausted that I just didn’t have that energy available. In the strangest of ways, it was the easy way forward. As I open up to the ever-greater possibilities of receiving, my life continues to change in surprising ways.
If you are a control freak, you can deal with anything. You’re not a sad, wilting flower, even if you feel that way right now. So if you let go of control, you’ll have a lot less you need to deal with, which will give your body way more energy! So much more fun than being everything to everyone!
WHAT’S NEXT?
This is just the start of a beautiful life-changing breakthrough, where burnout can no longer rule your life.
If you’d love some simple and practical tips for creating change in your life using these five unconventional strategies, sign up for the short ‘Creating Beyond Burnout’ email series.
It’s a preview of the magic from my upcoming book “Creating Beyond Burnout — Breakthroughs, Brilliance & Bliss.”