It’s You

There’s one common denominator in everything that happens to you.

It’s you.

Our egos don’t like to see that, though. They push off that responsibility. Slag it onto the nearest thing: people, technology, Trump, whatever.

But it’s you.

“Wait, this is unfair,” you say. “I did not grow up without influence. I do not live without influence. I am a product of my genes and my time and my location. The deck is stacked against me. And, sometimes, I have been a victim.”

Yup. And the common denominator is still you.

“But I had a horrible childhood. A horrible marriage. A horrible meal. I didn’t sleep well last night. I haven’t slept well in 14 years. I’m allergic. I’m sick. I’m learning-disabled. I’m pre-menstrual. I’m gluten-sensitive. I’m co-dependent. I’m a Packers fan. I’m I’m I’m I’m …”

Sorry. But it’s still you.

The one sure thing that is present in every situation you find yourself in? You. That’s a simple, ineluctable fact.

I’m not saying anything is your fault or not your fault. (And I want to hug you for anything bad that happened to you.) I’m just saying that the only constant for everything that happens to you — good or bad — is you. So, make yourself as strong and as kind and as educated and as loving as you possibly can, because you are the one constant everywhere you go.

You have to be able to depend on you.

The world has enough weak and mean and ignorant and cruel. More than enough. We don’t need to fill that well. But goodness and kindness and love could use more help.

If you’re one of the good guys and gals, it’s time to step it up. Improve. None of us have topped out. Most of us aren’t even close. Most of us are struggling every day. But that’s okay.

I’m not asking you to become perfect. I’m just asking you to try more — in love and life and lifting and parenting and anything else that’s super-important to you. And I’m asking you to stop pointing your finger. Stop shuffling your feet. Stop acting like you’re five years old and Mom’s going to yell at you for breaking the coffee table. (“This is why we can’t have nice things!”)

We are humans. Things get broken. Hearts get broken. People get broken. Life gets broken.

Fault matters less than picking up the pieces and clearing the debris so no one else gets hurt.

Raise your hand.

“I did it. I’ll clean up.”

Start sweeping. There. Now we have a start.

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