Ideally Not Yours

I can sit here all day and describe to you my ideal man, but the real question is am I his ideal woman? What if one day you met your ideal man or woman and you are not what they want. The thing is we spend so much time talking to our friends about what our perfect mate will look like, act like, be, etc but fail to think about what if we are not what they want. Then we get disappointed, sometimes settle for less, and question why the single life seems to plague you. How about focusing on something else: focus on actually being single. Not being single but still actively looking for someone to cuddle with, talk to, or even to take your mind off your issues but actually learning to love your own company. Spend that single period dating yourself. What do you like about yourself? What makes you tick? What makes you happy? Answer these questions without fear of what people may think or what is ‘normal.’ Be honest with yourself and be one with the most intimate parts of yourself. Focus on you!

Yes, its okay to want a tall dark and handsome, educated man or a petite, beautiful and funny woman but will you be okay if you don’t get that right now? Or how will you feel if you do find that person but you are not what they want? Will you feel like you need to lower your standards? Will you think that something is wrong with you? If the answer to those questions are yes then you need to do some serious soul searching. My advice: pray about it! Let God do the match making for you and while He is busy preparing the right one for you, ask Him to work within you. Being single is the perfect time to be selfish. Selfish in the sense that being single SHOULD be all about you, because once you are in a relationship, your needs will not be the only thing that matters anymore. Relationships are give and take. They are not always a walk in the part. So what happens when you have found your ideal man or woman? Are you happy? Does their soul link up with yours? Are they the one God has given to you? Or has your loneliness and unhappiness with yourself led you to filling in that void with a man/woman who looks like a sheep but has the hear of a wolf?

If you have not learned to be your ideal self, learned to be happy alone and love and accept all the things that make you who you are then how can you expect someone to come along and do those things for you! You dont know how to be alone, you doubt your self everyday, and you don’t love yourself but you are expecting your ideal person to come in and do all those things for you. That is not fair and will not get you very far. Instead, go ahead and keep that list of what your ideal mate looks like and the qualities he/she posses. Pray on that list and ask God to give you the wisdom to add and take away what HE KNOWS you need and not just the things you think is good for you. No one knows you like God does, He created for goodness sakes, and no one is a better matchmaker than He is. So go ahead, be single, be selfish, date yourself and let God take the reigns on bringing you to the right person and I promise without even knowing it God’s ideal person FOR you will come and neither of you will know what happened. It’ll just be the perfect love story. So just know while you are honestly being single and searching within, God is brainstorming. So let Him. Don’t sell yourself short and indulge in the flings or the people who are not worth your time,as many of us do when we are ‘single’. Save yourself the heartbreak. You won’t regret it! ☺