Six Lessons In Good Listening

Silas Cuthbert
Aug 8, 2017 · 4 min read

Listening is just not a spectator’s sport, but it surely requires active participation. At the University of Minnesota we examined the listening capacity of a number of thousand college students and of a whole bunch of enterprise and skilled folks. The charter text for Christian listening might be James 1:19: Let every particular person be quick to hear, gradual to speak, gradual to anger.” It is easy sufficient in principle, and nearly unimaginable to stay. I used to have a trainer who cherished to say, The phrase pay attention has the identical letters because the word silent.”

Silence is indeed part of art of listening, but good listeners do not need to be completely quiet. One motive listening is so troublesome is the gap between how fast we predict and how fast individuals discuss. Good listening is a great means of grace in the dynamic of true Christian fellowship. They only begin talking after the opposite particular person finishes a sentence and pauses.

Here Bonhoeffer provides us something to keep away from: a form of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say.” This, he says, is an impatient, inattentive listening, that’s solely ready for a chance to speak.” Maybe we predict we know the place the speaker is going, and so already start formulating our response.

Positively, then, good listening requires concentration and means we’re in with both ears, and that we hear the other individual out until they’re achieved talking. When someone is talking it is vitally necessary to be fully current and in the moment with them. When listening listen not only to the phrases however the tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. Good listeners make a degree to circle again around to comply with up on key points or important issues.

Positively, then, good listening requires focus and means we’re in with each ears, and that we hear the opposite person out till they’re performed talking. When someone is talking it’s vitally necessary to be absolutely current and within the second with them. When listening listen not solely to the words however the tone of voice, facial expressions, and physique language. Good listeners make some extent to circle back around to comply with up on key factors or necessary points.

These intensive tests led us to this normal conclusion: instantly after the average particular person has listened to somebody talk, he remembers only about half of what he has heard — regardless of how carefully he thought he was listening. Really listening (and not just showing to pay attention) requires intense focus and a good deal of psychological energy. To construct a greater basis for private and skilled success, master the artwork of listening with the tips below. For them, listening to others becomes a straightforward and natural way to proceed on their self-growth journey.

Here Bonhoeffer gives us something to keep away from: a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the opposite individual has to say.” This, he says, is an impatient, inattentive listening, that’s only ready for an opportunity to talk.” Maybe we expect we know where the speaker goes, and so already begin formulating our response.

Good listening means giving the other person the freedom to talk, and supplying you with the freedom to be taught something. Good listeners as a substitute focus on understanding what’s being said, somewhat than pondering of what they need to say next. Which means in our colleges, the place little consideration is paid to the aural element of communication, reading potential is continually upgraded while listening capability, left to falter alongside on its own, really degenerates. A superb exercise to observe is to sit down down with a family member or an excellent pal and follow simply giving suggestions to them of what you heard them say. Good listening usually defuses the emotions which might be part of the issue being discussed.

Good listening means giving the other particular person the liberty to talk, and giving you the freedom to be taught one thing. Good listeners as a substitute give attention to understanding what’s being said, slightly than pondering of what they wish to say subsequent. This means that in our schools, where little attention is paid to the aural factor of communication, reading capability is continually upgraded whereas listening ability, left to falter along by itself, truly degenerates. A great exercise to apply is to sit down with a family member or an excellent good friend and follow simply giving feedback to them of what you heard them say. Good listening often defuses the emotions which might be part of the problem being discussed.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade