Review: Ageing Gay Men

David Gibson
Sep 3, 2018 · 2 min read

David Hudson muses on the effect of aging as a gay man. His perspective is one of a single gay man, which is significant. My reflection on his writing is as a married gay man.

Marriage can reap long-term rewards, although it is hard to meet the demands. Photo owned by author.

He discusses the sense of isolation that can occur when the body begins to age, and we collectively focus on a more youthful look. I don’t know that this is unique to gay men, although it may be more acute. Our society is very focused on a narrow range of physical beauty and a narrow age range for that beauty. In some ways, it is understandable. Bonding and reproduction are both most readily accomplished in younger years. That said, there is a certain propensity for body dysmorphia that we would all do well to fight off as we age.

I felt Hudson’s observation about the effect of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. For those of us moving into our 50s and 60s now, the epidemic wiped out so many of those who might have been our role models moving into older age. I had not really looked at this question, but it is interesting. When I consider the topic of role models, I am struck by the soft nature of the question. So often, I tend to think about it in terms of single people in a direct role, but there is something powerful about the concept of role models as a more collective noun.

Finally, I think there is a lot of value in Hudson’s observation about building the life we have and standing clearly to be as much of a role model as possible for those around and behind us. The life I am leading now with my husband is one that, for me, is more interesting than anything that came before. We should each pursue our interests with the energy we have and with that I hope to continue to face the challenges of an ageing body with love and a smile.

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