Remembering Carrie Fisher

Forgive me — this is going to be like so many other pieces about Carrie Fisher. That’s how it is, though. This brilliant woman who arced across our skies like a comet that stayed visible for several decades — though there were extended periods of time that clouds might block our view — touched many of us and gave us differing viewpoints through that time. It’s a personal reflection on what she meant to me.

I guess I was hoping against hope that this would turn out differently. That we’d get news that Carrie would wake up, rip off her ventilator and look around at the people that were surrounding her bed.

“Geez, you’d think that I was dying or something,” she’d retort… though it would be more like a rasp, what with the breathing tube being down her throat for several days and all. People would beam and say, “That’s Carrie for you!”

She’d go home and recover for a bit and then go back out to talk about everything that went on in her life, but she’d have a new story about how her heart took a short “break.” She might even say something like how she dreamed she was up against Darth Vader when she was out. The ventilator must have made the same whoosh whoosh sound as his breathing. It’d be awesome to see her do another one-woman show.

Instead, we arise to this new Carrie Fisher-less world. She didn’t wake up after her heart attack on a plane. An orderly or a nurse removed the breathing tube only after she had been pronounced dead. Darth Freaking Vader won. There will be no new stories, no new books, no new shows — the news that she was actually planning another one made the kick in the gut hurt even more. It truly sucks.

The first time I laid eyes on Carrie Fisher was when I was five years old and “Star Wars” first hit theaters in 1977 (none of this “A New Hope” stuff — it was Star Wars back then). Her Princess Leia was none like I’d ever seen before. She was a kick-ass woman who considered herself a Empire-fighting rebel first and royalty second. There was no daintiness imbued in this fiery brunette with buns in her hair that fired at a storm trooper in the first five minutes of the movie. She gave no quarter and asked for none.

That trend continued throughout the film — she was snarky in her first meeting with Vader and even threw jabs at her would-be savior when he first burst into her holding cell. “Aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?” is one of the best lines I heard from any movie aside from all the conversations in “The Princess Bride.” This was a woman who was equally comfortable wielding a blaster and dressing up for a royal medal ceremony. She was far from the damsel in distress… she even dressed up as a freaking bounty hunter to rescue her love. The slave outfit? Eh. At least she strangled that slobbering fool Jabba The Hutt with her chains. Also, let’s not forget in the trash compactor scene in “Star Wars “ — she was trying to find a way to hold the walls open, not shrieking for Luke and Han to save her.

Then there’s General Leia in “The Force Awakens.” So much was made of her body type, something that rightly rankled Fisher. Did everyone expect her to keep her bikini slave Leia body all these years? Did it really matter that she didn’t? No, it didn’t. This was another time in Leia’s life. Even though she had very little comparable screen time, she still made the most of everything. Some cretins already started surmising what would happen to the Star Wars franchise without her. Let’s not look too far ahead — just mourn what we lost.

Throughout my tweens, I mostly knew her as Leia, though I did see another side of her in “The Blues Brothers.” It was only later that I got to see the brilliant side of her in “Postcards From The Edge.” It was only recently that I found out how sought-after she was as a script doctor. That just upped my respect for her even more. In Hollywood, people often focus too much on looks. This woman was a creative genius on so many levels.

She had a great way of telling stories. One of the funniest bits from a book came from “Wishful Drinking.” She talked about how one time her dad swallowed his in-the-ear hearing aids, thinking they were pills. As a severely hearing-impaired person, the thought of this made me crack up. Even now, thinking about that section has me chuckling.

There are things that we regret in our lives, however significant or insignificant. I was at the 2016 New York Comic Con. Fisher was slated to be there. I was going to go to one signing and then get in line for Fisher. The actor showed up for that about 45 minutes late — not that it really mattered. The line for her signing was full an hour and a half before she was even due to sign. The process repeated itself throughout the day. Only Stan Lee garnered a bigger audience.

“Another time,” I told myself. Sigh. Damn you, Darth Vader. You may have struck her down, but she will always remain powerful in our hearts.

May the Force Be With You, Carrie. She’d probably strike that last line for being too cliché.