In response to
I was there. And it really did happen.
1) I think I will have to write up my own version of this on my profile, https://medium.com/@littleetoile, because:
2) You forgot to mention how difficult the task of holding up a soggy mattress is was when you’re not even 5'1, nor 100 lbs, and you’re drunk and laughing hysterically at your friend smashing a toilet with her ass.
3) I love you. ❤