untitled #2

I remember your words, they whirl inside my head
i looked up the word cowardice
how simple, how true, how scary and disgusting
i remember the knives, the scars on my hands
i saw that tiny word carved above my ankle
an armed kid inside a school where teachers have pets like everywhere else i guess
thoughts of suicide still trapped inside my head
i remember your words, each and every one of them, quite a clear picture

and if i have to kill someone?
And if that someone is you, ruining a beautiful ride, taking me back to misery and pain?
where will that get me?
And what will they say standing outside broken windows?

*I don’t exactly remember what words I’m referring to here, might be something harsh used by an old girlfriend. There are clear references to inducing self-injury and a theme around an ‘Elephant’ type of movie or incident (although I believe ‘Elephant’ was still not out at that point). It’s all quite grim, probably a black day.

Last verse of the first part written under the influence of Lee Ranaldo’s lyrics. Maybe wholly stolen, not sure.

Second part must be about car rides with old friends, childhood friends that you’re kind of attached to for no good reason. Meaningless rides just to fill up time, wondering how I can escape the misery of a small town. Bad music, bad talk and the thought of getting out of there put in an accident or chance murder.