love & anxiety

How do you know you are in love and it’s not just anxiety, I ask? From others, I had heard love to be beautiful, to be kind. I had heard that your entire being would be consumed with happiness and joy upon seeing them. That you would have no worries. All lies, I say. Love is but a hindrance. She haunts my thoughts constantly, her stupid bangs, her dumb jokes. But rather than a warm feeling of comfort, my heart feels as if it is to fall out of my chest. When she speaks, all I want to do is listen. When she laughs, all I want to do is kiss her. She makes me so happy. She makes me so despondent. I have lost all control of myself and I am terrified. All I want to do is hold her hand, to make her smile but I cannot. Who is to say she feels the same? Who is to say I won’t ruin everything?