Starting New Things. #WeedFree | Day 119,
Hey world. It’s me Randall Parker Jr., freelance writer, general jack-of-all trades, web junkie, tech geek & now … recovering pothead.
I didn’t want to stop smoking weed for as long as I can remember.
What I did know was that I was having a really hard time affording the amount I consumed at the rate I consumed it and still live the kind of life I wanted to lead.
There are probably A TON of people who smoke weed everyday and it doesn’t really interfere with their quality of life. In fact, there have been plenty of moments along my path of new-found sobriety from weed that I wonder if I could ever live such a life. Where I stand today is: I’m accepting that I’m an addict.
I’m also a member of Narcotics Anonymous.
It bears mentioning specifically because (I was no different) most pot-smokers don’t really consider weed a narcotic. I know that was my story.
It’s not a drug. It’s more of a medicine. It’s more like tea, coffee or vitamins.
That’s was me. That’s what I generally said whenever anybody was giving me the third-degree amount my regular pot smoking habit.
The truth is: I did a lot of crazy stuff to protect my weed habit.
Some such examples are:
- Voluntarily becoming homeless.
- Dating women at least partially on the grounds that they were either accepting of my weed usage or were also daily smokers.
- Hung out with people whose company I otherwise wouldn’t take much pleasure in simply because of their supplying me or partaking with me in weed consumption.
- Drove hundreds of miles to Colorado (and back) when I was spending a month in New Mexico to purchase weed legally in stores (on numerous occasions) because of the novelty of it, my wanting only the best stuff, and because local connections were hard to find and I didn’t have a network built up.
- Living in the woods of Humboldt County, California with a bunch of pot-smoking growers who were fascinating in their own respect and some very nice… but I got pretty sick in the midst of it.
- Tried growing pot in a closet in a state where pot is not legal.
- In a fit of frustration and anger, paired with having to do something to protect my weed habit, and not make any other drastic modifications to my lifestyle, decided to steal my dad’s pickup truck with the intentions of just heading west where I could freelance write and smoke and probably live out of the truck for some time.
- It should go without saying that I put buying weed before any other financial commitments I had including my own body’s need to consume food.
I got arrested
Thankfully, as well. The thing is: I really didn’t plan on quitting weed. Once I was in jail for a day or two and I started to clear out, I thought that I might just take a break (after the enforced break I was getting while inside) and see how I felt. The past four months of my life seem like a year or more. I don’t know if this is just my experience or if others have experienced something similar, but life seems to be moving so much slower since I stopped smoking pot. Whereas before, it seemed like time was just flying by.
“So, now you’re blogging about not smoking weed?”
Yup. That’s the idea. My thinking is two-fold on this topic:
- One: Maybe I can help support others who are trying to either stop or take a break from smoking weed. Talking and sharing with others has been an instrumental part of my process of not slipping up or changing my mind up until this point.
- Two: By making this blog, the associated Twitter account, and by sharing with others, talking with others and helping others, I feel that I’ll be making a stronger investment in my recovery as we like to call it in Narcotics Anonymous**.
My blogging plan:
Honestly, I don’t currently have a plan or a schedule in mind. That sounds like a toxic approach — and it might be. Perhaps I’ll try to blog on Friday night and Tuesday afternoon, but I’ll have to see if that makes sense with my schedule. Plus, I just might want to blog more than that. Then again, there is always scheduling of posts. Anyway, you don’t need the behind the scenes of my process. I’m just putting this up here for some extra accountability.
Please reach out.
If you’re trying to quit weed, considering quitting weed, or already have, you probably have something valuable to add. Leave a comment or tag this account in a post and I will reach out on your blog and share in the discussion. I genuinely think there is merit (at least for some) in quitting weed. I personally want to shy away from any promises of never smoking again and all of that. It’s just too much unnecessary pressure. I want to focus on what my experiences have been relative to how much clean time I have and how I can help anybody else.
Maybe that somebody else is you. Maybe you still smoke but are considering trying to stop. Maybe you try and you can’t stay away. Maybe you’re like me and you’re on a good streak and you want to keep it going. Or, maybe you’ve got a lot of time away from pot and you can share some insight, wisdom, and / or hope for the rest of us.
Regardless, I’d love to hear from you. And thanks for letting me share.
** Narcotics Anonymous is in no way affiliated with, a sponsor of, or in any way responsible for what is written on this blog. All thoughts, feelings, opinions are my own and do not in any way necessarily or incidentally reflect the views of NA.
