Relationships and Marriage
No two relationships or marriages are alike. Two souls come together combining their entire history and lives into one kiss, there’s bound to be complications.
Just a kiss
Let’s face it, a long term relationship or marriage needs is the right kiss from the right person at the right time for us to let down all our guards and welcomed them into our sacred space.
So what does it mean when you say “I do” want to marry this person or “I do” wish to live with this individual for the rest of my life? It means you literally have to combine all of your history, hopes, wishes and dreams for one future. Sometimes this can be a lot more than some people can handle and that’s why there is divorce. Of course divorce can come from all types of angles such as one person’s personal growth spurt’s much faster than their partners and they literally go in different directions. Or one spouse cannot handle their own life choices and tries to self soothe by creating diverse activities outside of the relationship which sometimes turns into addictions.
Of course the other side of the story is there are couples out there that are determined to adapt and be flexible every single year of their relationship. They do this by being open and honest. Communication always works best as long as it is done in a respectful way.
It’s also important to be a team and work towards finding solutions to the problems instead of finding blame and pointing fingers. We all feel much more comfortable with friends and family members who are supportive of our thoughts and actions, that’s what being in a relationship should feel like too.
Romance is easy to do. Attraction is easy to do. Marriages or long term relationships take work.
It’s about the way you speak, the way you look at each other and the overall intentions of your relationship. Are you growing together or growing apart? If you’re growing apart that doesn’t mean the end is coming it means someone needs to put on the brakes on and pay attention by starting a conversation about it.
Top three divorce prevention tips;
1) Arguments are in inevitable in most relationships, it’s how you deal with those arguments that makes the difference. Everyone in a relationship wants to be happy and sometimes disagreements happen. The goal is to be the bigger person and simply look at your partner and say “how can I help”? “I understand you’re frustrated what is it that you would like to see different”?
2) Keep the promises that you made together. There’s nothing more frustrating than having an argument, agreeing to a specific change and then the very next day the same uncomfortable issue happens again. Remind your partner kindly of the agreement made, if they are consistently ignoring the agreement it might be time to visit with a life coach or a therapist.
3) It’s not about someone being a winner or loser. It’s also not about playing the victim or making your partner feel guilty in order to manipulate what is needed. (Of course this reference is based on every day conversation with mild to moderate arguments but not violence) The point here is to realize the reality of what’s being requested of you from your partner or vice versa and who is willing to change?
The Ultimate Goal
We are all on this planet to live our best lives with people who enhance us. Be the best person you can, steer and redirect disagreements into solutions and grow towards the future with more love.
I’m Shanon Dawn a Life and Relationship Coach. Author of The Marriage Prescription www.shanondawn.com