Find your Christopher

Two months ago I was taking on this world alone. Finding my inner Beyonce and embracing the Independent women status. I was happy, I had friends, I had wine, but something was missing. Everyday I would wake up with an empty feeling in my chest that I couldn’t explain. I was okay though, at least I thought I was. My best friend Braiden was determined to find me a man. I swore to him I didn’t want one or had time for one, but deep down I knew it would be nice to hold someone’s hand with someone and to do fun couple stuff with. So, one drunken Saturday night, Braiden decided to sign me up for a free dating website. Even drunk me was not having any part of it. I didn’t talk to anyone on the app, not one person. If you have ever been brave enough to get one of those free dating apps you understand you have slim pickings and most first messages are something along the lines of “what’s up sexy?” or the classic “You got kik?” ,which I never EVER replied too. Seriously, my hair is probably in a bun, I probably don’t have makeup or pants on, and I probably just belched like a dude. I’m so sexy, I know. I came to conclusion that I needed to stop wasting my time and storage space, so I needed to delete the app. I got on trying to delete this app, which is next to impossible, but I noticed a message from someone new. I clicked on his profile, and he caught my attention, which was weird. He was innocent looking, he was cute, and his scrunchy forehead pictures made me giggle like a little girl. I noticed he messaged me, and I honestly prepared for the worst. I was proven wrong, thank god, he simply said “hey.” After about 15 minutes of contemplating if I should even I reply, I did. I replied back with a simple, sweet “Hello.”, and he responded with “omg you replied!!!” For the next couple days we talked liked we have known each other for years, the conversation was so natural. I told him things about me that I never tell anyone. He told me about his life, and the things hes gone through to get where he is. It was too good to be true. So, without any thought, I got sacred and I deleted the app without telling him. YES! I really did that!! I was actually a bit mad at myself , but told myself I would get over it, that nothing was going to happen anyway. Then I get a message on facebook… It’s him! Of course my creeper radar goes off and I want to know how the f*** he found me out of the whole facebook population. I decide to message him back, and it went right to where we left off, still so natural. I start to find myself craving his attention, picturing myself with him. i wanted him to want me. Then I did it again, I started avoiding all his messages. All of them. Three months went by and I didn’t speak a word to him. He started changing all his info on facebook. His name, place he lived, everything was changed. My immediate thought was catfish, so I was pissed. I messaged him about it, asking him why and trying to get him to admit something that wasn’t even the truth. Five messages in and he had me hooked on him again. Three days later he’s sitting in a movie with me. The next days he’ buying me Mexican food, my favorite. Now, I wake up everyday looking forward to him. No one has ever made me feel so accepted and loved. He makes my heart feel full. He makes me laugh, smile, annoyed, even cry, but in this moment I wouldn’t trade it for the world. He makes me feel complete. He accepts that it will never be easy for me to say I love you even though I really do. He accepts that everything touchy mushy is new to me. From the sarcasm, to my randomness, to my smart ass mouth he loves me. This is true, this real, this is unexpected, and one of the purist forms of happiness to exist. Everyone needs to feel this. Everyone needs a Christopher. Find you a Christopher.