Why I Resonated with VA-11 Hall-A
VA-11 Hall-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action by Sukeban Games is a strange, wonderful thing. It is a visual novel with a game-play loop revolving around making people cocktails, set in a bleak-but-vibrant cyberpunk future. The game’s website is literally waifubartending.com. It has a cast filled with unrealistically attractive and cool characters, total weirdos, and even a dog named “Dragon Fucker.” At one moment it can be crass and silly, and then another moment it will pull at your heartstrings. For example: Dorothy, a android sex worker, confides to you in one scene that she deals with feeling like she is the only being to really exist. In another scene, she recounts being involved in a mall Santa bukkake (Don’t google that). I was destined to love this game regardless, but it had something I didn’t expect. That something made this game a deeply personal experience for me, and an instant favorite.
(Spoilers will follow but I will keep it vague.)
In Va-11 Hall-A, you play as Jill Stingray. Jill is a 27 year-old bartender who works at the titular Va-11 Hall-A. She is a Bisexual woman who probably smokes and drinks too much. Jill’s character arc in-game revolves around her coping with the loss of a loved one she felt like she didn’t get to say goodbye to. She rarely goes outside apart from work and errands, choosing to stay inside where she surrounds herself with knick-knacks and basically lives online. All of Jill’s friends are customers she has met through her job and she gets most of her social interaction this way as well. She likes her job well enough and strives to be good at it, starting every shift by saying, “Time to mix drinks and change lives.” Despite being a visual novel, the only choices you get to make throughout the game are how Jill makes the drinks for her customers. Your only influence in this cruel world is how well you do at your job.
I first played Va-11 Hall-A in January of 2018. I was 25. I accepted that I was Bi at 22. I had my vices. I honestly was drinking too much at the time and I've had a coffee addiction since college. It was coming up on the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing. Despite living with him, I never felt like I knew my dad well. To this day it bothers me that I cannot remember the last thing I said to him. At the time I was working 2 jobs in the next town over. The first was my grocery job I had for 8 years, and the second was at a coffee bar. I wanted to own my own coffee place and I really liked the job. However, my manager was really shitty and unprofessional which made that job draining to be at. On top of that, it was a 40 minute drive both ways. I was drained all the time. I began ignoring IRL friends, only talking to coworkers, regulars, and my roommates. Tired introvert that I was, I spent any free time I had online or playing games. It was during all of this chaos that I found this game, and I found Jill.
I hope the last paragraph makes it clear that I see a lot of myself in Jill and her story. It’s not like I hadn’t found myself in other fictional characters before this. Jill was different. It truly felt like Sukeban had based Jill on me somehow, down to significant life events even. For example, our parents both split at 6. There is just so much overlap. My demeanor, my sense of humor, my cringe online presence as a teen (Jill went by Shadowmaster69, you will never know what I went by.) I could go on and on but there is one thing that solidified my love for this game.
So there is a small game-play mechanic in Va-11 Hall-A. Before every shift, the game will tell you that Jill wants to buy something. It could be a vocaloid poster, a “shoulder massager”, a figure of a shitty video game character, etc. Basically just random things. Buying these things keeps Jill happy and the game proceeds normally. I was keeping up with these requests until right before the end. I accidentally bought the wrong object, and couldn’t afford what Jill wanted. So what happens when you fail to meet her needs? Jill becomes very distracted at work. You begin forgetting drink orders, which can lead to you messing up drinks, which can lead to you getting paid less, which can lead to you being unable to afford the things Jill wants and more importantly, rent. It’s a small thing really. It’s just a consequence the developers put in to hamper the players. It also happens to perfectly explain a problem I have that I could never express before this.
I would describe myself as having a very “loud” brain, as well as an obsessive personality. Basically I overthink all the time and if I don’t constantly distract myself, it feels like I am being consumed. This leads to a total lack of focus if I don’t fulfill my fixations. I will often blank out on entire conversations in this state, or even forget how to say the words I am currently speaking. Many friends have heard me stop mid-sentence and just say “Words are hard.” It made me think I was really hard to talk to. It was a problem I didn’t know how to explain to others, and one I hadn’t seen expressed by anyone else before. That was until i accidentally got punished by the distraction mechanic in a waifu bartender simulator. It’s silly, and I recognize that, but it made me feel like a major problem I deal with daily was finally understood.
VA-11 Hall-A was very personal to me at the time, but it still is personal in many ways to me today. It is 2020. Im 27, still very Bi, still with some vices (controlled), and still with my loud brain. I ended up quitting both jobs within a year. I got a job at a different coffee bar. I liked it a lot more, though the feeling of powerlessness persisted. However, at time of writing, we are still dealing with the Corona pandemic. After waiting for months to hear when I would be returning to work, I find out that the owners decided to close the shop permanently. They didn’t completely hang me out to dry. The owners got me a job at a similar local place. Ironically, I am now a bartender myself. At 27 no less. The world is more dangerous than ever and the only influence I really have right now is to serve people alcohol. After all this time Va-11 Hall-A, and especially Jill, are more resonant to me than ever.
Thanks for reading all of this. I know I just gushed about Va-11 Hall-A but I didn’t really go into how excellent it is as a game? It has great visuals and characters, a bomb-ass soundtrack by garoad, an excellent story, and a dog named Nacho Tumbleweed JR. If you felt anything from this, I implore you to play it. The game is available on PC, Switch, and probably other places.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/447530/VA11_HallA_Cyberpunk_Bartender_Action/ Its currently on sale on steam. Keep an eye out for its sequel, N1RV Ann-A, coming soon.
