The Fee of Free

Day 9 Journal: Out Sourcing My Education to Amazon

A holiday outside a hospital is a new gift again.

Tasting barbecue, driving past series of firework shows on the 118 freeway, and standing on my own two feet are landmarks of independence from a day I sat in a college cafeteria, and watched all but one friend walk by as I lost ability to hold a utensil marking a domino return to living like newborn who never got the chance to leave the hospital.

On paper I am now cancer-free, but I still spend a majority of my life centered around the consequences of side-effects, appointments, and loss of life as I knew it.

It’s changed everything, and the only source of confidence I had today was when I could talk about buying books for Amazon.

“You could write a book! I’d buy it.”
Well, I trust the market more than an off-handed comment. At the same time I hear it’s wise to only create businesses and products people ask for.

And according to this conversation, science teachers love stem-cell transplants and wouldn’t mind having a story to help teach kids some biology.

But what does it take to be free?
Today, I’m not so sure I have an answer. Having rights in a society founded on stolen land keeps U.S. locked in unreconciled relations. I know freedom doesn’t look like a box of free items on the road or a receiving a gift that’s already been paid for. These have comparative benefits but cost something to someone. Many churches promise freedom through God, but serve a ritualistic religion. No longer having a disease doesn’t even guarantee the financial or mental resources to continue to live life fully alive and well.

I wonder what it takes to create a life where you can be free.