Liberté Egalité Anxieté

With less than a week to go, the topic of my year abroad is becoming inescapable. Whilst everyone else in the entire modern languages department seems to have been counting down the days til their year abroad since they were in the womb, I am a little more apprehensive. When I first discovered my place as a teaching assistant in Provence was confirmed in June, my nerves were heavily outweighed by the initial excitement of more cheese and wine in my life. But now the inebrieation is wearing off and I’m not sure how sure I am about swapping my brolly for a beret. My stock response to everyone’s polite questioning has become “yeah I’m excited, I mean at least I’ll get a tan right?” but even I find it unconvincing.

My actual reaction has gone a little more like this: Must sort large pile of important forms. Legal French far too difficult to understand, will do tomorrow. Mass orders striped tops from ASOS. Remembers will actually have to speak French. Cries. Orders phrasebook from Amazon. Pushes important forms further away. Ignorance is bliss. Googles Provence, thinks of Instagram potential. Gets angry email about forms. Cries. Listens to French music. Remembers French music is shit. Understands some of the lyrics. Basically fluent. No need for year abroad. Remembers forms. Cries.

But as much as I like a good cry it seems, I also like new places, new experiences and new challenges, so maybe this whole year abroad thing could be alright. The one way ticket is booked and I’m going with my phrasebook, ASOS’s entire stock of striped tops, and a whole lotta forms in hand, whether I like it or not. My french might be a bit holey and stale à la Swiss cheese at the minute, but by the time I’m back expect a rich, mature cheddar of an individual. Qui vivra verra, right?