There is a difference between a house and a home. Houses are edifices erected from the ground and built using wood and other materials. Home is different. Sure, when I say I go home, I go to the physical place that I live at, but the more I think about it, there’s a reason I call it home.
Breaking it down, I looked at things the three key things that home provided for me: warmth, comfort, and safety + security. With that being said, I found that I find these three things when I’m around people like my friends, so they’re also my home.
Comfort
Of course, there’s comfort of being in my bed, cuddled up with my Koya plush while listening to the Tablo podcast or Facetiming my brother. There’s the comfort of being in my laker PJ bottoms and my BTS T-shirt while finishing up calculus homework. Or the comfort of just sitting on my best friend’s couch as we watch Captain Underpants in our jammies.
There’s also intangible comfort. People I go to when I’m stressed, upset, angry, nervous, or on the brink of tears.
I remembered I was in a parking lot one Friday night on the brink of tears. I was undergoing a lot of unnecessary stress, but it was hard for me to hold it in. If you know me well enough, you know that it’s super hard for me to cry, but the fact that I felt like tears were coming out of my eyes meant that something was really getting to me.
I immediately called my friend and she said that things would be okay. She believed in me when I doubted myself most. She gave me comfort when I needed it so much. I don’t need the physicality necessarily, but the idea that I have people I can call who gives me comfort comforts me.

Safety + Security
Akin to the doors that lock my house up and give me safety. Akin to the alarms I have in my house to give me a sense of security that if there’s a fire I’ll wake up and be able to get out of my house.
There is also intangible safety and security: people I can trust.
My friends definitely give me physical security. Sometimes when we’re playing a mini tag game or something, they’ll protect me from getting tagged. But more about safety and security, they provide me with a place where I can tell my secrets or talk about myself without feeling judged. These are people who I can tell my secrets to. I know that they are people who won’t leak what I say or try to use it against me.
When I break down my walls and tell them about things I’m insecure about or troubles I have, they listen and keep it a secret. They know my story and accept me for who I am. They hug me and say that they love me.
They give me security, too. They secure me with the idea that I’ll have them in my life, as I go through different stages. I’ll have them as I go from being a mindless teenager to a more refined woman. They secure me with the idea that we will work through whatever happens and come out stronger than before.

Warmth
People that keep me warm, but also people who are kind.
If we talk about physical warmth, my friends give me so much of that. Hugs, using each other as human pillows, and when we all fall asleep after a week of sleep deprivation.
But on the flip side, my friends give me warmth. Intangible warmth, might I add. It ties in with both safety + security and comfort. They provide me with a loving environment that I can come to when I need comfort, safety, or security.

I go back to the idea of intangibility so much because home isn’t tangible. You can’t hold home, but you can sure feel it. You can be around it. But it’s not something I can put in my hands. You don’t have to hold things for them to be real to you.
To my friends reading this, you know who you are, even if the photos don’t show so. Thank you for being my home. You are so loved.
