One of my coping mechanisms, when I’m stressed, is to just rant out to whoever I can get a hold of. Most of my stress has come from trivial matters and when I was talking to one of my close friends about it, they said: “You’re stressing me out,”.
Initially, when I heard that, I felt like they were trying to dismiss my problems because it wasn’t happening to them. I felt like they didn’t understand me. Did I feel angry? Definitely no. Hurt? Absolutely not? Peeved. Yes. That just made me rant out to another friend about how I felt like this person was missing the point.
However, it brought me back to the time where I felt that way about someone. While happy that they came to me to rant, I sometimes felt that they were stressing over something they couldn’t control. And why stress over that when you can use your energy to do something more productive? Why was I not allowing other people to feel what I felt? Most likely because it concerned me and if I was the focal subject, I wouldn't want someone to say or feel that I was stressing them out.
The more I let it sit and marinate with me, the more I realized that they were right. I stress out about minuscule things and after I tell people about it, I end up getting it resolved.
I lack restraint…… When it comes to what I tell people and what I don’t tell them as well as what I should stress out about and what I shouldn’t stress out about.
The thing I admire most about myself is also the thing I hate most, sometimes: how I sometimes share too much. On the one hand, it’s good that I’m able to communicate things that are bothering me and being able to get it out instead of bottling it up and exploding.
On the flip side, I have no filter sometimes. I will say everything on my mind about how I’m personally feeling, and sometimes, it’s burdening. I accidentally stress people out without meaning to. I just want to be honest with how I’m feeling. I want to be honest with myself.
The other thing I lack? Remembering that people had their own issues they were dealing with and battles they were fighting. I forget that there were things bigger than just myself. On my road towards trying to be as stressless as possible, I ended up starting to stress because I stressed others out. It’s not my intent, but I do it anyway. Over and over. Not being cognizant of what I’m doing and how it affects people. I am sorry. Sorry for the distress, sorry for sounding dramatic, and sorry for wasting your time.
I was never more thankful. It was honest, but it was what I needed to hear. The fact that I had friends who not only supported me but also friends who supported my personal growth and would point out things that needed to be addressed made me realize that I had these friends of virtue. These friends of virtues are the ones Aristotle encourages us to seek after. Not friends of utility or pleasure. Not friends that we just hit up to ask for homework or friends we just hang around with because it’s pleasurable. No. It’s friends who love us more than ourselves. They do it because they care, not because they want to criticize every flaw we have. I know that now.
I am learning. I am flourishing. I am going to reach that eudaimonia. And learning to recalibrate my life is only a means to that limitless end.

