3:06am

I’m lying here with a thousand thoughts. Well not quite there but seems like it. I want to cry cause I’m in pain. Not physical but emotional pain. The stress of life is complicated or do I just not understand. I know it’s not just me but it the disease. Mental disease is still taboo and not a lot of people want to talk about, but I do. I was born with this depression. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had it. The things that happen in life seem to make it worse or is it the disease? I can’t tell. People always say life has it challenges, but does it have to happen on a daily? Do people ever catch a break from this called life? Cause I haven’t in years ! It’s always something right after another. Without pause they just seem to topple on top of each other. Just when I think I’m coming up for air I’m plunging back into the deep. I fight most of the time. Sometimes I let it consume me. Like I can live in the dark but I know I don’t want to. I want to live in the light. I have hope, dreams and the will to fight but there’s it is. The ugly little black cloud just hanging over me just waiting to burst open and let the rain (tears) flow down.

Maybe later will be better…

  • E.H.