When You Know

When you find a person you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, it’s a scary but a grounding realization. The thought that this one person is literally in control, unknowingly, over what you are shaping your future out to be and seeing how you can now fit your future plans around them and not him around your future plans. There are so many emotions that encase your heart and soul at this exact moment that you cant seem to count all of them or even begin to think of a way to explain and sort them out. So many thoughts are running through your head, all of your dreams and aspirations are all circling and shaping around this one person. It’s a crashing wave that has you spinning in its watery depths gasping for air. For me personally I’ve always looked down on those girls who want this one other person to be the center of their world and shape their future around them. I always have had the mentality that he can shape his around me, I’m not settling and moving all of my dreams around because of some boy, but it turns out this person isn’t just some boy. He’s a man. A man that drives me absolutely insane sometimes and has weird habits that I somehow find enduring and cute. Who is actually a huge nerd and has his life together, which is quite an attractive trait to have. One I do not posses. What is that?! Of course I don’t believe in the melodramatics of “oh I could never live with out you” or my favorite, “I would die without you.” No, but I have to say my life would be significantly less brighter without him in it. Again I ask, what are these emotions? If I had to sum up all of the crazy in one simple word I suppose it would have to be happiness; not the fake kind though, no the “ten year old getting out of school for summer and feeling that sun it you for the first time it feels like in forever because you are finally free” happiness, its pure and untainted. It’s a freeing feeling with a few other complicated emotions.