What Each Pokemon Would Taste Like And How To Eat It

Liz Lian
Liz Lian
Jul 15, 2016 · 3 min read
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Image for post
  1. Bulbasaur

Frog. Poach in butter flavored with garlic from its own bulb.

2. Charmander

Salamander. Poisonous. Don’t eat.

3. Squirtle

Turtle, obviously. Cook in a stew.

4. Caterpie

Caterpillar. Probably poisonous.

5. Weedle

Larvae. Raw or sauteed and sprinkled with sea salt.

6. Pidgey

Squab. Roasted.

7. Rattata

Rat, obviously. Heavily seasoned and barbecued, if you really must.

8. Spearow

Cornish game hen. Roasted with potatoes.

9. Ekans

Snake. Roasted on a stick over a campfire.

10. Pikachu

Fried chicken.

11. Sandshrew

Armadillo. Will give you leprosy.

12. Nidoran


13. Clefairy

Suckling pig. Roasted.

14. Vulpix

Fox. Made into a stew. Or cured into a jerky.

15. Jigglypuff

Strawberry mochi ice cream.

16. Zubat

Bat. Roasted to a crisp. Again, only if you must.

17. Oddish

The texture of a radish but the flavor of a blueberry. Raw.

18. Paras

Sand flea. Deep fried as a snack. Mushroom gravy.

19. Venonat

Huge ass moths. Fried.

20. Diglett

A really large and mature earthworm. Sliced and pan fried like bologna.

21. Meowth

Cat. Don’t.

22. Psyduck

Platypus. :(

23. Mankey

Monkey. Don’t do it! HIV!

24. Growlithe

Coyote. Marinate and BBQ.

25. Poliwag

Tadpole. Down in one.

26. Abra

Raccoon. Parboil with sweet potatoes and celery.

27. Machop

Would taste disgusting. Like what they put in the original soylent green.

28. Bellsprout

Honeysuckle. Delicious for its nectar on a nature walk, or as a garnish on a dessert or cocktail.

29. Tentacool

Baby squid. Calamari.

30. Geodude

Himalayan rock salt. Seasoning for the other Pokédishes.

31. Ponyta

Horse, obviously. Cut into steak and seared medium rare.

32. Slowpoke

Hippo. Very fatty steaks.

33. Magnemite

Metal? Melt it down and use it to make a cast iron skillet to cook the other Pokemon in.

34. Farfetch’d

Duck. A nice confit or magret de canard. With leeks on the side of course.

35. Doduo

Ostrich, but just farm them for their bigass eggs.

36. Seel

Seal. Lightly seared or made into prosciutto or sausage.

37. Grimer


38. Shellder

Scallop. Pan seared in butter.

39. Gastly

Inedible. Use as lighter fluid.

40. Onix


41. Drowzee

Tapir. However you can for survival in the rainforest.

42. Krabby

Crab. In a boil with some corn and potatoes.

43. Voltorb

Inedible. Obviously. But could use as bowl.

44. Exeggcute

Quail eggs.

45. Exeggutor

Durian at the top, heart of palm at the bottom.

46. Cubone

A t-bone steak.

47. Hitmonlee

Tempeh. Stir fried.

48. Lickitung

Geoduck. Stir fry with peppers and scallions.

49. Koffing

A fart.

50. Rhyorn

Rock shrimp. Butter poached.

51. Chansey

Whale blubber.

52. Tangela

Blue raspberry sour punch straws. Straight up.

53. Kangaskahn

Opossum. Stew.

54. Horsea

Seahorse, duh. Skewered and deep fried, if you must.

55. Goldeen

Goldfish. It would taste bad.

56. Staryu

Starfish. Broiled, then eat the inside.

57. Mr. Mime

A screwball ice cream.

58. Scyther

Grasshopper. Fried, in a taco.

59. Jynx

Eggplant parm over spaghetti.

60. Electabuzz

Farm it for honey.

61. Magmar

Komodo dragon. Don’t eat; they’re endangered.

62. Pinsir

Scorpion. Deep fried and salted.

63. Tauros

Bison. Burger.

64. Magikarp

Catfish. Deep fried nuggets or on a potato roll with tartar sauce.

65. Lapras

A bigger turtle. A bigger stew.

66. Ditto

Pink slime.

67. Eevee

Fox. Don’t, but pressure cook if you must.

68. Porygon

A ring pop.

69. Omanyte

Snail. Escargot.

70. Kabuto

Giant isopod. Fried.

71. Snorlax

Bear. Dry aged steak.

72. Articuno

Pheasant. Stuffed and roasted.

73. Dratini

Eel. Unagi.

74. Mewtwo

An Avatar. Would probably eat you first.

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