I am not alone

Lizlie Angel Holleza
Nov 3 · 2 min read

What do you do when you feel nothing?
When you feel blank?
When feeling the emptiness within yourself?

What do you do when you love someone,
But you are tired of loving?
What do you do when you know you care.
But you don’t care kind of feeling?

It sucks right?

Sharing someone of what you feel doesn’t give any difference.
It doesn’t help I guess.

Why?

Because you’re just tired of everything.

You want to go far.
Far away from where you are right now.
And you‘ve been wondering to whom you are running away with?
And to find out that you’re just running away with yourself.

How funny is it right?
Running away but there’s no place to go.
You want to find peace.
But you couldn’t find it.

As I am going through this tough time.
I know I can’t find comfort, peace,
Or love or attention to anyone.
I know that.

Thinking this kind of thing.
Like being comforted by the one you love,
It doesn’t make any difference.
It doesn’t make me happy.
It doesn’t change anything at all.

Same emptiness, same blankness.
But here comes the twist.
When I feel this kind of thing.
You make me feel your Presence.

Just thinking of You, brings a great impact.
Things get different.
Things made sense.
Things seem to become easy.

I feel the purpose of why should I continue to live life.

The love you showed to me was overwhelming.
That even I can’t feel it without crying.
Crying for joy just thinking how blessed I am.
That I got the chance to know you more and more each day.

I am not perfect but you don’t stop loving me.
I have sinned but you keep forgiving me.
Who am I to deserve all of this?
You love me unconditionally.

And I will always be grateful for that.

Now, I am still feeling empty.
I am feeling tired.
I still feel blank.
I can’t deny that I still feel those kinds of things.

But I will keep on moving forward.
I will keep on trying to improve myself.
I will keep on believing in you.
Because I know You are with me.

I know I am not alone and I will never be.

And nothing would be better than this.
Knowing that You are here,
It gives me the strength to keep on pushing forward.
To become a person you want me to be.

You inspire me in all ways possible.

And I will always be thankful to You.

I know life will throw a lot of problems.
I will feel tired and be tempted to quit.
But just knowing that You are with me.
That you will not leave me alone.
It makes everything better.

Therefore, I thank you.