I’ve had a lot of jobs that weren’t for me — and I’m so glad
Why taking a few “wrong” turns isn’t a bad thing
Today, interns and new grads clamor to join my super awesome tech company, and it’s no surprise why. These brilliant, idealistic twentysomethings (teens, even!) flock to us because we have a mission they can identify with; they’ll have visible impact on the product; and they get to do this in a space that feels like Disneyland.
When I reflect on my own internships and early jobs, I get a minor pang of envy of these young Turks (I’m 30, OMG) for discovering so early in their careers such a phenomenal company, and for knowing what they want to do with their lives.
My experience has been very different. It took me a long, circuitous path to get into this once-in-a-lifetime company. Part of this is due to the fact that I had a touchy-feely humanities degree — not the sought-after and eminently applicable STEM concentration — which meant I have to work a little harder to find a role that exists in the real world for my experience and skills (bye bye, dreams of being a [starving] poet). And I had some interesting internships and jobs out of college, all of which taught me a lot. But I’ve had stints in roughly 4 different industries/companies on my career path to end up where I am now. And, who knows, maybe I’ll be in a different role a year from now!
The purpose of this post is not to lament this zigzaggy trajectory I’ve taken, or to bitch about the false starts I had to take to get where I am now. Just the opposite, actually: I thank my lucky stars every day that I’ve had such a non-linear experience. I wouldn’t have it any other way. And here’s why.
It’s ok to start broad.
A good strategy in tackling problems is to start broad, and zero in. This is true of finding your path if there’s not one that’s clearly defined for you.
When you’re an English major with zero practical experience to speak of (being nicknamed “Human Thesaurus” for your encyclopedic knowledge of synonyms is a cool party trick, but it doesn’t pay the bills), you have to cast a wide net, spitball a little, and see what sticks when it comes to the job hunt. And that’s precisely what I did.
And then you do a little wiggle.
Take the LSAT, they said. Why not? Maybe I could be good at law! Dead wrong. Didn’t have the drive, and I soon realized Law School would NOT be an extension of undergrad life.
And that stint at a branding company? Sure, the writing was fun, but press checks and painstaking Pantone color matching was not my jam. There’s a reason why saying something is “like watching paint dry” is a simile for boredom.
Then it was onto various admin/coordination roles (medical office followed by a cable ad sales office), and finally, nonprofit fundraising.
I also learned that “Marketing” at some companies is a blanket term for “where English and History majors languish doing admin work while we all pretend they do something other than scheduling.”
And in the midst of this, I used to feel mad, frustrated or just plain embarrassed that I wasn’t finding roots and feeling truly bought into any of these roles or companies. But with some time and distance, I now realized something crucial was happening: I was building my 2 Lists.
[List 1] The Must Haves
The way to arrive at your Must Haves is to do some reflection. What projects have you worked on in your life that you felt sublimely gratified to work on? What are you currently doing that you could absolutely never do without again? What size team and company are you most successful in?
In other words, what are you an absolute stickler about? These are your must haves.
[List 2] The Absolutely Nots
Knowing the Must Haves isn’t enough. I learned that there’s a parallel, and equally important list of Absolutely Nots [i.e. the I’ll Never Do That Agains]. And that’s powerful.
Let’s use commute as an example. You may join a company that has all our must have’s in place, and also has a significant commute. If you’ve never done a commute, you may sign on thinking it’ll be fine — and 3 months in, you’re an unhappy zombie who comes home after 90 minutes in the car and has no energy left over. There you go — add “lengthy commute” to the Never Agains, and you’ve already refined your criteria for wherever you land next.
When you’ve seen the not-for-you places, you’re better equipped to recognize that wonderful feeling of belonging.
For those of you who are currently encountering a lot of Absolutely Nots and are feeling pretty bummed about job — I’m sorry for you. That’s a terrible feeling.
However, know this! Every day you are doing the work of populating your parallel lists. Tip: if you’re really uncertain about what to do with your life, then I suggest taking a personality test. I’m a big fan of this one. Even the most self-reflective among us can benefit from a little third party assessment to hold up a mirror to our strengths, weaknesses and desires — and these quizzes even come with recommend vs not-recommended career paths.
And, last but not least, hang in there. When you find the right fit, you will be the most grateful person in all the land. Happy trails, purpose-hunter.
