Why doesn't anyone care about the stalker in my dressing room? — Milky White, Certified* therapist and Very Famous Cow, answers almost-anonymous emails from fellow Broadway icons. She is objectively worth more than five beans. *Grade A beef See Milky White in Into the Woods on Broadway; in previews now. “Only Phans” Q. Dear Milky White, I’m hoping you can help me with a…

Inspector Javert is not a member of the Medium Editorial Board. Opinions are his own. Good evening, America. My name is Inspector Javert and I hereby endorse Donald Trump for President. You may ask yourself why a 19th Century Frenchman, a man who, up until this very moment, has sung…

I hope this Owl finds you well. Hello All, Hermione Granger here! I hope this owl finds you well. I write you today, not as the friend you hold so dear but as an emissary elected to reach out on behalf of all Witches, Wizards, and Non-Binary Sorcerers. My task…

The Actual Plot of the musical Pippin, now playing at 7 High Schools near you. Moody Prince graduates college! Moody Prince makes speech thanking his educators, says books are for boring nerds with no vision. Moody Prince sings a pretty song about being Special! Moody Prince is escorted home by…

The following is the synopsis of The Phantom of the Opera taken directly from the Playbill insert. Stalker stalks Grief Girl Grief Girl is pretty and sings pretty. Stalker watches Grief girl from behind a two-way mirror in her dressing room. After brainwashing Grief Girl, Stalker drags her to the…