It’s Not That Bad!

4 years ago. My friend was teaching me math, it was not really difficult so i learned it faster than usual, after we finished, i saw one of my classmate was crying, so my friend and i agreed to look after her.

Long story short, we found out she cried just because a guy, i was actually annoyed and thought it was stupid.

What the hell, sist? really? there are a lot of good looking boys in this world and you are crying because of him? just let him go! it’s not that bad!

Yes, i said it to my friend, and i can still recall how she looked at me after i said it, realized my words didn’t calm her at all, my friend told me to went to the canteen to bought her drink.

As i was walking to the canteen, i couldn’t help but laughing and i found myself saying, “crying because a guy? really? stupid.”

Time flies.

Here i am, in the car, listening to music using my sister’s phone, hoping metal genre could help me to hold on my tears.

I was sitting on the passengers seat, my uncle was driving, my sister’s and my mom were chatting in the back, my uncle told some jokes, almost everyone laughed.

Well, you guessed it, i didn’t laugh.

I was wearing headphones so everyone won’t think i’m rude for not laughing, Slipknot — Snuff is playing, that notification appeared as i tried to checked out what time it was. I looked at the toll sign’s.

I through this sign a few hours ago, i was having fun with him…

Not going to lie, i shook my head, trying to not think about him but body can’t lie, tears just started falling while my brain playing what happened.

How i wish you were the one who was driving, seeing me cry would make you laugh but while you laughing, you would try to calm me too. We just met a few hours ago but i miss you already, i miss how you pat my head like i’m a little kid, how you grumbling because other driver(s), i miss the warmth and the scent of your body, i miss how your eyes light up when you telling me what you like or even such a simple thing like how an article make you think all day, i never so in love with dark eyes before.

I keep crying but this smartie succeed hide it from everyone in the car. After i arrived at my granpa’s home, my aunt straightforwardly said, “you look tired, did you just cry or did you just wake up? still cute, though!” she is probably the only person that will always says i’m cute, doesn’t matter what i have been done, i smiled, and said, “just woke up, i’m still sleepy anyway, may i…” i haven’t finished to tell her i was actually going to the bedroom and sleep (crying) again but she said, “no way! change your clothes, i cooked for dinner already.” i couldn’t say no so i did as she said.

After dinner, i thought reading my book was the best idea to get rid of him from my mind, funny because i also thinking about him, being next to me as i’m reading my book.

Everything was getting better until the author of my book which i was reading decided to use his name as the name of one of the characters.

I started to cried again, the fact how easy it was for him to say, “maybe it’s time for us to end it.” made my tears as swift as rainfall, i don’t know how to describe my feeling, i don’t know whether i was angry or sad, i don’t know if this is because i’m getting that time of the month. I don’t know.

I cried myself to sleep. In the next morning, i woke up and felt something heavy on my chest, i looked at my book again then my brain decided it was a good a idea to recall how and when did i bought that book.

I bought it with him, he knows me well, he knows how much i love books and he brought me to a bookstore, to our surprise, the bookstore was having garage sell and i went little crazy. While i was choosing the books which i wanted to bought, he was the one who brought them for me, i remember how he smiled and said, “these books aren’t heavy at all, go choose what you like.

I found myself smiling when my brain playing the memories.

I don’t want to end this, you heartless piece of crap.

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