Lizzie Lizard Brain – Medium

Lizzie Lizard Brain

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The Pub

Grandma Smillew Gets Titanic Revenge

Never mess with Grandma’s loves, or keep her waiting!

3 min readApr 29, 2024

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Grandma Smillew sitting with several older people listening to one play the guitar. A woman is on the floor rubbing her head after being tripped by Grandma. The thought bubble above Grandma’s head reads, “BINGO!!! I told her not to mess with Jack!”

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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Tantalizing Tales

My Catastrophic Dinner With Andre Robert Gowty

The potentially cataclysmic danger of saying “Yes” to a Deluded Custodian

4 min readMay 6, 2024

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Angry cats on a couch under a framed picture. A sad dog has his paws against the frame while another lays on the couch looking worried. The picture has a herd of cats carrying a man in a box marked Schroedinger.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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Civil Politics

Pussy Thump Sends Carrie to ER With Bruce Springsteen

When God and Truth and Right blind in the night

4 min readMar 31, 2024

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Woman crying on a bed with a big orange cat and a Holy Bible with “Malice in Wonderland” printed on the cover. A Bruce Springsteen poster hangs on the wall.

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MuddyUm

Hot Narcissist Reptile Girl’s Publishing Announcement

-Get rich quick!!! Potential publication submission rules

5 min readOct 24, 2023

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Lizzie Lizard Brain dressed as a pirate holding a purse with the word “Data” in one hand, and a jack-o-lantern in the other.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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Short and Weird

The Danger

“I need it back. Give it to me.”

2 min readNov 25, 2023

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Sillouhette of a man against an ominous black background.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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The Pub

My Nordic Investigation of Viking Vocab Victorious Jay Väänänen

The Veritable Viking showed me how to slay interpretive dance & punctuation

5 min read2 days ago

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Scared man on an Ikea couch calling for Medium Support to help him. The dark room is filled with Northern Lights. A framed picture of “Illiterati King Ampershred” hangs on the wall. Lizzie Lizard Brain leans on the man’s leg.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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MuddyUm

All The Writing Tips You’ll Ever Need — Exquisite Brilliant Authoritative Comprehensive

Don’t use too many clever, overwhelming, unnecessary, clever, repetitive adjectives, or commas. Like that… ellipses are bad, too. So are…

5 min readJun 6, 2024

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A hand with long elaborate painted nails writing in a blank book using a peacock feather pen. A bottle of nearby ink is labeled poison.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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Tantalizing Tales

I Love Pentesting For The Red Team!

Who knew Armondo’s “software penetration” could be such fun?

4 min readJun 3, 2024

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Lizzie Lizard Brain wearing a red hat concentrating on levitating pens around a laptop in a room full of office workers. A sign reads “Welcome Red Team Testers!” Some people are celebrating with champagne while more serious people stare at computers.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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Short and Weird

Lizard Brain Falls For Ad And Remodels Bathtub

Let me help you help me earn big bucks as a bathroom designer!

4 min readMay 27, 2024

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Garbage dump with a back hoe on top. Lizzie Lizard Brain is pushing it back.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain
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Dead or Alive

Chameleon Carol Fell For the Miracle Cure Ads

As a mutant lizard writer, it worked out well for me

4 min readMay 16, 2024

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Black beans or berries on a large leaf mimics an online ad that promises to cure most things. Caption urges buyers to solve all their problems with this miracle cure and get rich as an affiliate marketer.

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Lizzie Lizard Brain

Lizzie Lizard Brain

The inappropriate, playful, sometimes offensive, usually outrageous reptilian part of Patricia Jeanne's brain.

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