Nostalgic Activism
Nostalgic Activism by Elizabeth Blackwell
I remember her, you know.
I remember summertime
we’d wait til the burning sun hung low
so it painted the sky with evening
and we’d run barefoot through the dewy grass
muddying our clothes
turning them black
“Lives matter!” you’d say, protecting the bee from my hand
carefree
and I remember spring
when you’d pick wildflowers for me
pinks and purples and bright blues
all in rich, saturated hues
no discrimination against color,
you said all flowers matter
i agreed
you absolutely LOVED autumn
you said the leaves’ warm brown was enchanting
you’d break your piggy bank and get us a pumpkin
every year
and we’d break it apart
smashed on the side of the road
and leave it behind for sanitation to handle
but we didn’t care
it was our fun little game
winter was my favorite
we’d go shopping every Sunday
us each a dollar in hand from momma
and you’d try on every dress in the store
but you never took any dress home
In the winter,
When the world was covered in white
Only white
As far as the eye could see,
We’d have snowball fights every day
We stopped at the park across the street,
I picked up another snowball
Just as you’d hit me with your own.
Oh, and when I went outside to play a smile lit up my face.
And you were an angel, Sarah
you would give licorice to all the kids
With that sweet, sweet smile of yours
sweet as candy
But now she sells people like candy.
We have a large selection. Get your Black lives matter here for sale! Get your LGBTQ rights! Mental illness! Buy now for the sick children! Whatever the hell else is trending right now, we’ve got it.
It makes me sick.
Refresh your insta feed, that’s enough education.
Post a graphic, that’s enough activism.
People are suffering? I forgot, they’re just games, fun little games, made specially and only for your privileged pleasure.
When will you have enough of performing?
The world is broken.
But it’s okay.
Because you’re kidding.
“Shut up, oh my god, there are people who need help? Uhhhhh…. Subscribe?”
Sarah, you’re kidding.
Is it too much to ask for someone to help me?
“Uhhhhh…. this is the Venti, right?”
I pray that you’re kidding.
“You’ll all see my point of view one day. I’m not a bad person. Darling, you’ll come to learn more about me soon enough.”
I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. Not when my people are being treated like this.
I remember when my niece got sick. You said you’d visit her after she finished “recovering from cancer.”
You posted her face with #fly followed by a word that you were at her funeral.
High.
No one deserves this.
George Floyd. Tamir Rice. Breonna Taylor. Justin Howell. Sean Monterros. Jamel Floyd. I can’t list the names because of the sheer number.
My own brother.
No one knows his name. Not the news. Not the reposters. Not even the man who killed him.
For them all, guilty was the automatic verdict.
“It doesn’t matter,” you tell me with your black square.
“I’m gettting bored,” you say as you go back to posting latte art.
All this BLM “stuff” you claim to support is dying out. Because people like to put on a mask. People like you. And I love you dearly, Sarah, but I live in fear.
And, “oh my god,” release your new post
You’re being overdramatic. This is about facts, not your feelings. I just. Dont. see. What. the. Big. deal. is.
Is a game all it is to you? Are you even a little bit sorry? Is your only worry what will fit your feed? My God, Sarah, is your only concern how well you ”I can manipulate” us, as “my pawns?”
Pawns… we used to play chess on a field of
Black and white people have been fighting for centuries. I’m tired of fighting. I just want justice.
“We are only playing” you’d say to my mother, my brother in tears. It’s just a game, right? It’s not real. Maybe I should’ve noticed then. You never took responsibility. But I was blind.. everything I did with you and with him was so much fun.
I could have saved him. I waited for over an hour in that car… I could have saved him.
We could have saved him, but I called and no one answered. No one gives a shit.
I guess that was your game over.
Once you’re bored, I guess it’s game over while our lives are on the line.
This is not a game, baby.
When will it end? People. When will it end? Like. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it end? You. When will it end? Are. When will it end? Acting. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it end? It. When will it end? Is. When will it end? A. When will it end? Facade. When will it end? And. When will it end? Then.
They just go back to their normal lives.
Hey Jen! Yeah, yeah sure. Let me find a protest outfit.”
You.
Will it end? You. When will it end? Are. When will it end? Acting. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it, when will it end? Then.
They just go back to their NORMAL lives.
When will it end? People. When will it end? Like. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it end? You. When will it end? Are. When will it end? Acting. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it end? It. When will it end? Is. When will it end? A. When will it end? Facade. When will it end? And. When will it end? Then.
They just go back to their NORMAL LIVES.
When will it end? People. When will it end? Like. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it end? You. When will it end? Are. When will it end? Acting. When will it end? You. When will it end? Put. When will it end? On. When will it end? A. When will it end? Show. When will it end? It. When will it end? Is. When will it end? A. When will it end? Facade. When will it end? And. When will it end? Then.
Starbucks, release a BLM merch line for your employees. And they did. And then what?
They just go back to their normal lives.
When will it end? What about my life? When will it end? When will it end? Did you know that 604 Civilians have been shot by police in the first six months of 2021? (Statista) When will it end? All the while, Kendall Jenner photoshopped herself to make it look like she was protesting. On. A murderer’s trial. The charge was unsatisfactory performance. When will it end? Is. When will it end? A. When will it end? Facade. When will it end? And when will it end? Then.
I WANT TO BE NORMAL.
I WANT TO BE NORMAL.
And I miss her. I miss summertime, hot and sweet and the end of your activism because BLM? That’s over. No. No, racism is over because it’s June!
Then you jump to the next fun thing to find clothes for.
We used to go to the mall together. You would try on every dress they had, taking mirror selfies in the fitting room.
Yet you never brought one home.
It’s June! BLM is over. It’s summertime!! It’s June! LGBTQ Rep is important now! Queerbaiting is bad.
You come for my people again. You made us feel like we had a home.
But you don’t care. Because to you, it’s always been a game.
I miss summertime. When we’d play hopscotch and I’d trip over my own feet.
Every time I skinned my knee, you’d always giggle, giggle and wait for me to stand up on my own.
I always heard you whisper.
“I win! You lose.”
Kendall and Kylie Jenner participated in black lives matter? Oh shit!
Now you take action.
“Hey, everybody, BLM!” Because now it’s cool. Now it’s special.
“How could you not love a person like me? Oh, and don’t forget to subscribe!”
We did everything together.
“As a white person, I know how important it is for me to use my voice. That is why I turn to social media!”
Timothy Loehmann provided false information on his job application and murdered an innocent boy. Timothy Loehmann was found not guilty. An innocent boy. His death means nothing to you?
But it doesn’t matter, because you’ve got something up your sleeve.
“Like!”
I don’t miss you anymore.