Image from Pexels.com • by Steve Johnson

9 tips to take one-on-one meetings to the next level

We changed how we were focusing 1:1s and it turned things around

Here’s a scenario you’ve probably experience: the time has come to meet with your boss this week. However, you don’t expect any output from it. You’re just getting ready to go into a room with your manager to tell them about your progress this week, or the status of some project(s). If you manage a team, you might also speak of the status of the projects they’re in.

But these meetings are not productive or have any value for you.

I’ve been leading Product Managers for over three years now, and one of the best things we did is changing how we focused one-on-one meetings: instead of talking about project updates, we started doing the 9 things I leave you here.

The tips

1. Schedule a weekly meeting. Start with 30 minutes. With time, you and your team might discuss about extending to an hour, because it adds value to both of you!
2. Have a shared agenda where both of you can write down the subjects you want to discuss. Plus, it’s a great way to have a history of the things you talk about. We have GDoc, but feel free to use any other platform.
3. Make it about them. Ask how are they doing, if there’s anything you can do to help them with their issues. Don’t let it become about how you’re doing.
4. Listen. Actively. Focus on what they’re telling you. Leave every other thing behind. Face your phone down and deactivate notifications. Assimilate and understand what you’re hearing, and empathise with them.
5. Hear them bitch. Listen (#4), again (it’s really important), but with a twist. You just can’t help in all situations. Sometimes people just need to rant and release their anger towards an issue. Acknowledge their feelings, help them feel understood. The best thing you can do is just listen, even if you won’t be able to act on that issue.
6. Coach. When they’re talking about their problems, don’t solve them right away. Ask them questions like “How do you feel about that?” or “What do you think you can do to find a solution?”. They’ll think and act on their own and helps everyone in the team grow.
7. Take action. When required, when agreed, take action. Help your team overcome their barriers. Bear this in mind, though…It’s really important that you what you’ve committed to!
8. Never, ever skip this meeting! If there’s no other option, reschedule it, but try to always leave this slot to discuss anything with the people in your team.
9. Don’t do project updates. Discuss stuff out of the day-to-day. This might be the most controversial one for managers that want control over autonomy, but it’s the best thing we did.

You can talk about the company’s vision, career path, the future, market and competition, problems in the company, conflict with other areas and how to tackle them,…Obviously, sometimes discussions will happen around the status of a project or its blockers. What we don’t do is focus these meetings solely on that: it happens naturally.

It might be a good idea to avoid this subject completely at first. Focus on other areas, and once you find the value in these meetings, start adding project updates.

EXTRA TIP: don’t be afraid to open up to your team. Showing vulnerability, talking about your own problems, shows them you’re a person too, and brings you closer to them. Trust is a two-way road. This doesn’t only apply to one-on-one meetings, but I thought it was relevant to mention here.

Why this is way better

One-on-one meetings are very important to keep your team motivated, too. Having a manager that listens, helps, and acts when required to, directly impacts everyone’s peace-of-mind.

Everyone is really busy and it’s normal to just be focused on the day-to-day. Use this time to help your team look up from time to time, to rest from all those issues and that chaos. Discuss their career aspirations, company vision, wider issues than those directly impacting the day to day. Let them reflect on stuff they might not normally think about.

PRO-TIP: from time to time, try to do the meeting outside your office. Go for a walk, get coffee outside,…whatever works! The conversation will surely be different.

And, the extra ball: you get to lift your head up, too!