2.1.2 Being Human — The Power of Listening
Chapter 2 of Design for Human Connection within Global Communities — An exploration through digital experience design and participatory action research
A proper way of stimulating our deeper levels of humanity is by active listening. Despite the general assumption that listening is a passive experience, clinical and research evidence shows that sensitive listening is the most potent agent for individual character change and group development (Rogers and Farson, 1987). The authors state that listening transforms people’s attitudes toward themselves and others; also bringing changes in their fundamental values and beliefs. Moreover, those that experience to being listened to in this particular way become more emotionally developed, more susceptible to new experiences and less protective, also tending to listen to themselves with more care and to make clear what they are thinking and feeling.
The notion of active listening begins with Hendrickson and Gordon (1974) but has its origins in Carl Rogers’ client-centred therapy treatment and nondirective counselling (Rogers, 1951). Motivated by the idea of reflective listening, Hendrickson and Gordon applied the communication skills used in therapeutic settings in daily circumstances. It has become a widely known component in a diversity of contexts that involve gathering knowledge and solving difficulties (Rautalinko and Lisper, 2003). Rost and Wilson (2017) argue that listening is now recognised to be the basis for language acquisition and communication capability. In addition, Buster links listening with the ability to connect with another, affirming that “once you learn to listen well to another person, you are connected. If you do it in a group, it is a superpower of connection which expands. The very act of listening is so intentional and observant” (Buster, 2018).
Active listening demands verbal and nonverbal skills to improve mutual understanding and research reveals that active listening techniques also have actual effects on online communication (Bauer and Figl, 2008). According to their study, “active listening is possible in online communication, although a face-to-face setting is preferred due to several constraints imposed by online media”. Results reveal that, while there are barriers to showing empathy in online environments, it offers valuable possibilities that face-to-face interactions tend to lack. For example, online communication tools give people more control by enabling asynchronous communication — allowing for control during communication by enabling the possibility of verbalising thoughts before answering to the other person. Moreover, Motschnig and Figl (2008) investigated the results of person-centred, technology-enhanced courses on interpersonal communication and community building in academic settings. The study invited students to apply active listening and do online reflections about workshops and teamwork. As a result, there was an increase of thoughtful listening, respectful climate, and enhancement of teamwork communication.
By contrast, Boghossian and Lindsay (2019) propose that society should learn to have “impossible conversations” and foster relationships and communities where every verbal interaction does not have to be a political battle. They believe that impossible conversations “take place across a seemingly unbridgeable gulf of disagreement in ideas, beliefs, morals, politics, or worldviews” (p.13). By having such conversations, people can be vulnerable and ask questions without the idea of the right answer, exchanging value, active listening and learning within themselves and the world. A key thing to remember, according to Gray (2016), is that safe spaces are needed in order to allow people to share their innermost needs. According to the author, a safe space involves the feeling of being respected and accepted for who we are.
Overall, listening is a growth activity that requires practice and, most importantly, changes in our underlying attitudes towards being present and not judging or concluding while someone is articulating. It is critical to explore ways to develop these skills and have safe spaces also in digital environments, considering the amount of time spent online and the dissemination of online communities.
