How to Get the Spice Back In Your Marriage (How to Bring Passion Back Into Your Marriage)

Logan Haven
5 min readSep 25, 2023
Photo by Ryan Young on Unsplash

I’m thrilled you’re here because it means you care about keeping the fire alive in your marriage. Let’s be honest — maintaining the spark in a long-term relationship isn’t always a walk in the park. But fear not, because I’m here to share some practical, down-to-earth tips on how to get the spice back in your marriage.

So often, I hear from people who are feeling stuck in a romantic rut. They come to me with tales of once-blazing passion that have simmered down to lukewarm coexistence. The other day, a client named Ashley reached out to me, her voice trembling with a mix of frustration and longing. She told me that when she and Robert first met, sparks flew like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Their love story was the stuff of romantic comedies — late-night conversations, stolen kisses, and an unwavering connection that seemed to defy all odds. It was the kind of love that made everyone around them a little envious.

But as the years went by, life’s demands took center stage. Bills, work, household chores — you know the drill. Ashley and Robert became experts at managing their day-to-day lives, but in the process, they lost a bit of themselves and the passion that had once defined their relationship.

Ashley’s voice wavered as she confided in me, “I miss us, you know? I miss the laughter, the spontaneity, the feeling of being swept off my feet. Is it even possible to bring that back? Can we ever feel that way again?”

If you find yourself in a situation similar to Ashley and Robert’s, don’t fret. Let’s embark on this journey to reignite the passion in your marriage together. Here are some tried-and-true strategies that can help you get that spice back:

1. Rediscover Date Nights

Remember those early days when every date felt like an adventure? Well, it’s time to revisit that magic! Set aside one night a week (or even a month if that’s all you can manage) for a special date night. No phones, no talking about work or bills — just you and your partner.

Start by planning these date nights with excitement and anticipation. It could be a simple candlelit dinner at home, where you both dress up and create a cozy atmosphere. Or, if you prefer going out, explore new places in your town, try a restaurant you’ve never been to, or revisit the spot where you had your first date. The idea is to break the monotony and create moments that are solely about the two of you.

2. Communicate Openly

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, especially when you’re trying to reignite the flame. Over time, couples can drift apart because they stop talking about what truly matters to them.

Take the time to sit down with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about your desires, fantasies, and even your concerns. It’s essential to create a safe space where both of you can express yourselves without judgment. Share your dreams, hopes, and fears — vulnerability is not a weakness but a way to deepen your connection.

3. Try New Things Together

Routine can be the silent killer of excitement in a marriage. So, why not shake things up a bit? Try new activities or hobbies together.

Consider signing up for a dance class, where you’ll not only learn a new skill but also experience the thrill of moving together. Alternatively, try a cooking workshop and savor the delicious results of your teamwork. Exploring a new sport or hobby as a couple adds a sense of adventure and curiosity to your relationship, making it feel exciting once more.

4. Prioritize Intimacy

Intimacy is more than just physical contact; it’s about emotional closeness too. Make sure you’re making time for both in your marriage.

Start with physical intimacy by initiating small, affectionate gestures. Hold hands when you walk, cuddle while watching a movie, or share unexpected kisses throughout the day. These little acts can spark the initial connection that you once had.

Emotional intimacy is equally vital. Share your thoughts, dreams, and fears with each other. Be present when you’re together, and genuinely listen to what your partner has to say. Sometimes, just sitting in silence and feeling each other’s presence can be incredibly intimate and bring you closer.

5. Surprise Each Other

Remember those times when you surprised each other with little gestures of love? Don’t let that sweet tradition fade away.

Surprise your partner with heartfelt gestures that show your love and appreciation. It could be as simple as leaving a love note on their pillow or surprising them with their favorite homemade dinner when they least expect it. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness can rekindle the warmth in your relationship and show that you still deeply care.

6. Reignite Your Passion

Passion can fade if you’re not actively nurturing it. So, make an effort to reignite that flame.

When it comes to the physical aspect of your relationship, consider trying new things in the bedroom. Explore fantasies together, experiment with role-play, or simply be more adventurous. It’s about creating an atmosphere of excitement and novelty.

Beyond the bedroom, reigniting passion also involves reconnecting with the things that you’re both passionate about individually and as a couple. Rediscover your shared interests, whether it’s traveling, art, music, or any other hobby that brought you joy together. These shared experiences can help you reignite your enthusiasm for life as a couple.

7. Be Patient and Forgiving

Rekindling the spark in your marriage may not happen overnight. It’s crucial to be patient with yourself and your partner as you embark on this journey.

Remember that both of you are evolving individuals, and personal growth takes time. There may be bumps along the way, moments of frustration, and even past mistakes that need forgiving. Holding onto grudges can stifle the potential for rekindling your love.

Remember, reigniting the spark in your marriage is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and dedication from both partners. So, if you’re feeling that your marriage needs a little more zest, don’t lose hope. Start with these tips, and you’ll be well on your way to getting the spice back in your marriage.

Ready to reignite the flame in your marriage and experience the passion you’ve been missing? Click here to discover even more practical tips and insights to get the spice back in your relationship.

Click here to access an exclusive resource that dives even deeper into revitalizing your relationship. Inside, you’ll find a comprehensive guide with additional strategies, real-life success stories, and expert insights to help you and your partner rediscover the love and passion that brought you together in the first place. These tried-and-true techniques have helped countless couples rediscover the joy of being in love.

Don’t wait any longer — it’s time to reignite the flame and rediscover the deep connection you and your partner once shared. With the right tools and strategies, you can make your marriage a passionate, exciting, and fulfilling journey. Click right here, and let’s embark on this transformative adventure together!

Remember, it’s never too late to add some spice to your love story. Click here now and let the adventure begin!

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Logan Haven

I am a dedicated and compassionate licensed marriage counselor with over 10 years of experience helping couples build healthier and fulfilling relationships.