My Experience with Fake Friends and How Bad it Hurts when They Hurt You

“Some friends are like pennies, two-faced and worthless.” — quoteambition.com

We all have friends. Even if you don’t think you do, you probably have at least two. Well, if you’re like me and attend a small Private Christian PreK-12th Grade school, you know what it’s like to have “lots of friends”.

Haha.

Growing up in a public elementary school, I was bullied a lot in the 3rd and 4th Grades. I started taking karate for self-defense after I got threatened by a bully with scissors saying he would “stab them through both of my eyes if I ever said anything to him.”

By the 5th Grade, I became one of the cool kids because I was on Safety Patrol, in the Chorus, and on the Morning Announcements team (all big “ins” at my school). I was also cool because I would secretly use swear words…

In the fourth grade I started wearing glasses. At my elementary school, my geeky blue nike glasses were amazing. I tried wearing contacts in 5th Grade, and struggled to keep up with the responsibility. Luckily people thought it was okay when I went back to my blue glasses because they were “cool”.

My parents didn’t want me to stay in the public school system when I transitioned from elementary school to middle school between 5th and 6th grades. So, they decided to enroll be in a Private Christian Church School. I toured it twice and then went a third time to take a test to see if I was smart enough to be “in”. Luckily I was, thank a God.

On my first day of school, they had a Kindergarten-12th Grade Assembly to welcome everyone. The first student I talked to was someone who had the same name as me, and was the son of the science teacher for most of middle & high school grades. The second person I talked to was a girl that has remained one of my close friends ever since (5 years later).

All throughout middle school, I was bullied too though. There were these two kids who always hated me. The guy would spread rumors that I watched porn (which to me seemed like huge insult and hurt me deeply) and the girl would argue with me and cause drama nonstop. My class was extremely cliquey. They all thought my glasses and shaved head haircut (both things I thought were cool) were weird, and when I got braces between 6th and 7th Grade, it didn’t help. It also didn’t help that I continued to take karate for the first few years of middle school and I also played the Clarinet.

In 7th Grade, we had split classes unlike the year prior. I wasn’t too unhappy with my class due to the fact that I had stopped bickering with that girl all the time, and that guy was in the other class. Unfortunately, all my close friends were also in the other class. Our science and math teacher hated my class and always did things to be rude to us… ESPECIALLY me. I was her target. And when she started stuff, the whole class would join in. Wether it was falsely blaming me for breaking her projector, to making fun of my sock colors, to embarrassing me for having Pinterest when that was “a girl thing”. She once took my iPad and tried to break into it in front of my “friends” so she could make fun of my photos for some reason?

And these “friends” didn’t help me out.

Don’t get me wrong, I was still invited to functions and included in activities (although very reluctantly), but things were looking up when I got involved with a giant friend group. Unfortunately a toxic friend broke it up and then left the school claiming she was the victim. I had a few more friends leave, and one of them turned around and claimed we were all racist and attained me over social media (hence my first article on this platform). I also had a few enemies leave, and also had a few enemies become REALLY close friends.

Things were looking up. I mean, I was still the butt of a LOT of cruel jokes, but that didn’t mean anything right? They are my friends and they swore they were only kidding around, so I shouldn’t be hurt by them… right?

At the end of 9th Grade I made the mistake of making a Musical.ly video making fun of cringey f-boy musical.lys. One of my “friends” in my class saw it and screen recorded it before I got the chance to delete it the day after I posted it. She sent it around to everyone and it circulated around the class. Once everyone except me had seen it, another girl sent it to a popular meme Instagram account. That account posted it and I got openly ridiculed by people on Instagram. Awful, AWFUL things were said about me in the comments and a few of my friends even started replying to those people offering to give them my Insta handle. I had to find out through people who weren’t even involved because nobody who was would own up.

Luckily the girl owned up to it eventually and got a slap on the wrist but that was better than nothing right? At least I got some closure right?

Well last summer between 9th and 10th grades, it all went down. I made the mistake of sharing personal rants via Twitter and even though my account was private and I had blocked everyone from my school, people still found them and started circulating rumors about me. This all happened when I was out of state on vacation, and there was a birthday party held. Many of my “friends” were there and even though I was invited, I’m sure they were glad I couldn’t make it. One of my really close “friends” brought it up randomly and got other people to start talking about the rumors, while my other close “friends” stayed quiet. They didn’t defend me, but at least they didn’t join in… right? They did the right thing somewhat?

I’m currently almost halfway through 10th grade. I started wearing contacts again (successfully this time), wearing nicer shoes, changing my hairstyles often to impress people. You’d think that those things would help, but it didn’t.

The fact that I am a guy but I like female celebrities like Gabbie Hanna, Halsey, and Cardi B and that I like shows like Riverdale, Steven Universe, and Dynasty… is fuel.

The fact that I dated these two geeky and obnoxious girls (at different times, obviously but still) back in 8th grade (2 years ago)… is fuel.

The fact that my last girlfriend dumped me in New York City on our three month anniversary after I said “I love you”… is fuel.

The fact that I am not as athletic and in shape as some of the other guys in my class and that I don’t like basketball (even though I DO play other sports)… is fuel.

The fact that at one point in the 5 years I’ve been at my current school, I had a dumb naïve crush on a majority of the girls in my class… is fuel.

No matter what I do, something is wrong to someone. I planned a Halloween outing for some of my friends, and other people tried to steamroll me and re-plan it behind my back. Those same people all grouped up when going through the haunted farm so that they could laugh at me and my group of other scared people.

This is the stuff I constantly deal with on a daily basis. Let me tell you something, that night those rumors at that party were going around, one kid told his dad. And his dad, not even considering the fact that the rumors had a possibility of being false, called my parents at 7 in the morning while on vacation, causing turmoil. MY PARENTS MADE ME GET OFF ALL… AND I MEAN ALL SOCIAL MEDIA because of this event due to the toxic people and my apparent ability to never keep my mouth shut online.

Yet no teachers or parents of these toxic and awful children at my school care. I said that girl with the video of me got a slap on the wrist and I mean it. She was supposed to be grounded for sixth months and yet a week later had her phone back. Yet both she and her mother were “so sorry” for lying and treating me and my parents awfully and with such disrespect during the process. Oh and last week, she showed the video to everyone again when I walked out of the room.

IT BAFFLES ME that people think they can do whatever they want to people and get away with it by telling their victim that they’re just kidding and that they’re the person’s friend. IT IS SICKENING.

I have about a total of two people (not even my parents) that I can constantly talk to about personal stuff after everything.

Halsey’s Women’s March speech really inspires me. While my story of bullying cannot compare to the realness and severity of her sexual assault stories, it’s a similar process. They tell you to take it like a man… that they’re just messing with you. They tell you to not overreact because that’s what you do best. They tell you it’s your fault for bringing it upon yourself.

Fake friends and rapists are not the same by many measures, but they sure as hell have a similar sick thought process, don’t they.

If you’re a fake friend… re-evaluate your situation. Would you want all the things you are torturing this person with while still calling yourself their “friend” happening to you.

And if you have fake friends… run from them. Get out of there. They aren’t worth your time.

Thank you.