Face it or fade away

Ever since I’ve left home, I’m lost. I have started screwing up my life. The main reason behind this lies in the fact that I always kept things to myself. No matter what I feel I shared it with nobody. Back at home, they knew when I was happy and when I was not. They knew when I needed help. But here in Delhi, I could have easily shared all of my feelings with my elder brother but still I didn’t. Maybe because I was too afraid. I still am.

I’m afraid of facing my problems. And trust me I hate this thing about myself. I realised it when I was watching a show called Breaking Bad in which my favourite character once quoted, "Either you run from things or you face them, Mr White." And the moment he spat out these words out of his mouth I knew this is the foundation of all the mess I’ve created. I had always run away from my problems but never had the courage to face them. I never asked for help. I always thought I’ll make things better all by myself and it’ll all be good. I was wrong. I kept screwing up things.

Even after knowing the reason behind all of my problems I still did not have courage to face them. I have been escaping from people I know. People who matter. Even blocked myself from my social networking sites so that I can focus on making things right.

I hope to find courage to talk to my family and friends soon enough. Also I’m looking forward to consult a therapist. And now I’m going to finish this piece of garbage by giving you a lesson which I’ve learned from my mistakes. Be honest with the people who care about you. Don’t run from things. Face your problems. And PLEASE DO NOT LIE. PLEASE DON’T. As Khaled Hosseini has once said, "There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to truth."