The Accidental Author, Intro, Part 5

Bill DeSmedt
3 min readFeb 5, 2019

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The Accidental Author readership — Bang to Whimper

Whither We Are Bound, and At What Speed

Having finally put paid to this interminable intro, I thought it only fair to give you some idea what’s headed your way next. In the ensuing weeks (and months (and — who knows? — maybe even millennia)), yours truly, the Accidental Author, will be giving my (admittedly idiosyncratic) take on such topics as —

· II: Why is this Mona Lisa Laughing? — the rules of English usage, style, and grammar, as bent, broken, and shoveled over with dirt in the works of Dan Brown;

· III: Location, Location, Location — where’s a good place to set down a story, and why you probably don’t want to have one start out on the roof of the World Trade Center[

· IV: I Can Make You a Man — character, characterization, and (pace Thomas Nagel) whether it’s like anything at all to be a black hole;

· V. Props and TechnoProps — micro-holes, room-temperature superconductors, 3-D replicators — you might be surprised at just how much of this stuff I didn’t make up;

· VI. The Plot Thickens — The ins and outs of A and B plotlines, Freytag curves, and why a thriller is a mystery told inside out and backwards;

· VII. “And How is Your Father, The Count?” — dos and don’ts of plot exposition, including the only scene Diana Rigg ever played opposite a small green amphibian;

· VIII: Chapters, Scenes, Beats — the atomic elements of story;

· IX: The Ape and the Oboe — Readers, Critics, Editors, Agents, all the usual suspects;

· X: Podcasting for Fun and … More Fun (sure ain’t for profit!) — how this whole audiobook shtick got started;

· et cetera.

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Well, having whet your appetite, I’ve got some bad news for you. Some of you might have noticed that this current posting hasn’t kept to The Accidental Author’s accustomed one-a-week schedule. There’s a reason for that, and it’s illustrated by the above graphic, which charts the number of reads per day for this series, from its kickoff on the third of January down to the end of the month. Talk about starting with a bang and ending with a whimper!

In that connection, I’m reminded of the politician who, having incurred the wrath of his constituents, found himself being tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. When asked how he felt about the experience, he replied, “Well, if it weren’t for the honor of the thing, I’d’of rather walked.”

Reason being, while it’s been, and remains, an honor to write this Accidental Author series for you all, the attenuating reader response rate doesn’t really justify the flat-out, breakneck pace I’ve been churning this stuff out at up till now.

Like the apocryphal politician says, I’d rather walk.

So, unless things pick up magically and markedly, look for the next installment (Book II, Part 1) towards the end of February.

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BTW, If you’d like to experience the actual written work that emerged from all the above-described (so far) and/or hinted at (still to come) travails. It’s here.

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Bill DeSmedt

The future remains unwritten, but I'm writing as fast as I can!