Response #1: A Bar Conversation
Hi Steve! I’m new to this platform and to screenwriting so I’ll do my best to give you feedback as best I can.
What I liked about your scene was the “bar-setting” dialogue. I struggle with dialogue, hence, that is why I am taking the challenge. You seem to have an ease in writing back and forth banter. Well-done.
One thing that was not clear to me is Connie’s character. The lipstick and boobs comments through me off. Perhaps if you write a little intro at the top so that I have a bettersense of the tone I would better understand. It’s probably my lack of experience though.
I look forward to reading more of your work!