Is motherhood Overrated?

As I listened to Bob Marley’s No woman, no cry, ' I recalled how this awesome philosopher cum musician had set up several debate amongst friend as to the true meaning of this reggae hit. Was he saying a woman should stop crying or was it a platform to express the agony of having a woman..if it was about getting women to stop crying, I guess he was right, the magnitude of tears women shed about the pressures of being a woman are truly crazy.

I’m a member of an all female group on Facebook, and somehow every woman seems to have her painful story. From being molested as a child, to being sexually violated as a teenager or young adult, to trying to find suitable husband, and then there’s the trying to conceive story.

A wise person once said, ‘don’t take advice from someone you wouldn’t want to switch places with’, and sincerely I feel compelled to share this advice. I have three kids at the moment, and plan to adopt two more (when I’m rich and famous). I’ve been down my road of different women pains, from the place of abuse to the point of wanting to find a suitable marriage and then to the place of having children. I find this simply is the a way to manage the situation.

Establish that you’re not defined by what you have or what you don’t have, its only what you project that is your reality. You’ll be shocked how few people really care. My mum taught me that, the contented is never poor, but the discontented is never rich, seek contentment at every stage of life you’re in. No one said your contentment definition is a child, two children or none at all. Don’t let your life be frozen because you’re waiting. Do all the crying you need if it makes you feel good, see your doctors, look your best, show up and embrace Joy. Yes, consciously embrace Joy! Because you are lucky enough to read this article before the pressures that come with being a mother comes.

Babies are adorable, no doubt but you have to be aware with a capital ‘A' that this baby is going to require you to be a dietitian, nurse, grammar tutor, detective, praying warrior, role model, cleaner, cook, steward, publicist, career counselor and bank, (to name a few) so you can’t dedicate enough hours to prepare. If you’re certain all the dots and tees are crossed and the baby is still not here, have you considered adoption?

Ok, I’m not an expert here, but I tell a lot of my friends, and I mean it with all my heart, if you want babies so much and the doctors can’t help, just go get a baby already! Many precious babies are born into this world without the opportunity to be loved by someone as awesome as you. It’s your opportunity to contribute to the Universe…yes, I know my African people have different superstitious beliefs against this, can I make bold to say…its exactly what you say it is, a baseless superstitious belief.

A child is a ‘tabula rasa’ (Sigmund Freud), it means they are like a plain white board, they become whatever you put in them. A child mirrors the environment more often than you know it.

A mother, defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary is a woman in authority, so its your choice. It’s your choice to be part of motherhood or not.

So much said for biological motherhood…now being a mother is doing a full time, no holidays or sabbatical work, before you decide on taking up this extremely rewarding venture, by all means enjoy yourself. Yes, take those trips when vacation means resting, sleeping and spa sessions. Enjoy your 100% ‘me' days for it will be outrightly impossible once you meet and fall in love with your baby(ies), go and visit your friends far and near so they can understand when your commitment becomes only phone based. Put all you can into building your career, so when you have the children emergency issues your reputation will not wane at the office.

Yes, I said it motherhood isn’t over rated! It’s tough, but we all can(?)

Like what you read? Give Lola Thompson Makinde a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.