In the last four weeks, I’ve consumed more German media than I have in years or possibly ever? I find myself reading articles on zeit.de, listening to Was jetzt?, a podcast published by Zeit Online every weekday, and regularly checking tagesspiegel.de to find out what’s going on in Berlin. And in what felt like a very German moment, Tom and I watched Angela Merkel address the nation on March 18th in a very moving speech.
With regulations around what is permitted changing every week, I feel obligated to stay up to date with local news. But, like nearly every other person on the internet these days, I’ve also taken an interest in how the country I’m living in is handling the crisis. In other words, experiencing this global pandemic in Germany is making me feel more connected to Germany.
This new sense of belonging manifested itself in a rather unusual way: my Zwift country flag. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, Zwift is a virtual cycling game for indoor cycling. Like so many video games, you can customise your in-game character. Last week mine looked like this:
You might notice that I have an Italian flag next to my name. Zwift lets you pick a flag which then gets displayed in the in-game leaderboard. It’s up to you to decide if that flag represents where you live, your nationality or perhaps something else entirely. Anyone who knows me a little bit knows that I’m a “third-culture kid” — I grew up in three different countries, none of which are the countries my parents are from, and I speak English with an accent that nobody can place. So being asked to select a flag to cycle under (or is it cycle for?) to me felt like I was being asked which country I identified with the most.
When I first joined Zwift a few years ago, Italy felt like a solid choice. It’s the country I lived in from the ages of eleven to eighteen, and it’s also the country where my parents and my grandmother still live now. Plus, Italian road cycling is world famous. Who hasn’t heard of the Giro d’Italia?
So, I caught myself by surprise earlier this week when at the start of a women’s group ride someone with a German flag next to their name shared in the in-game chat that they were from Berlin. Suddenly, I wanted to be like “Hey! Me too. I’m here in Berlin too. 🙋🏻♀️” I wanted people to know that I’m logging in from Germany without me having to tell them…so I changed my flag.
I’m still getting used to the idea of being “from Germany” in the virtual world of Zwift, but in the real world, my answer hasn’t changed. Despite social-distancing measures, I’ve had a few encounters with strangers in the last couple weeks asking me where I’m from. I’m still saying “Italy” to keep things short. Who knows, maybe some day that will change too?
I’m planning to move my weekly updates to a weekly newsletter soon. You can already sign up here if you’re interested: https://tinyletter.com/lonelypeanut
