Looking for love…

I was sitting in a familiar room filled mostly with people I had never met, listening to one of my friends furiously play the violin. At every moment her face swelled with passion, tears rushing to her eyes, but never falling down her cheeks. Her entire body moved with the bow, back and forth, and as she adjusted to the pitch, I felt as though I could see what the soundwaves were doing to her body. Filling her with love, and pride, and anger, and even some embarrasment. I had never seen something so raw in her before. Never seen an energy powerful enough to make her feel something real — but this changed everything. It was love, it had to be. And not the kind of love that sells movies or convinces us to buy chocolates and flowers. The love for music. The love of being alive. The love of oneself. And as I looked around the room I couldnt help but see love everywhere, in all its different shapes, just screaming to be hear. The love a childhood friend feels as they watch themselves grow in someone else’s eyes. The love of a teacher that cant help but arrive in a prideful smile and obnoxious clapping. The love of a parent secretly trying to capture a moment in time. It was overwhelming. As I sat in this familiar room, filled mostly with people I had never met… The waves of love I felt, though sounding much like the cords of a violin, reminded me of why I’m alive. To receive and give life greatest gift. The indescribable, universal, complicated, and wonderful feeling that love can bring. This has been a hard summer for me. I was wounded, and surprised, and betrayed, mainly by the people close to me. In this midst of all of this hurt I forgot why I’m here, why we’re all here. I forgot that there is nothing better than feeling a summer breeze at just the right temperature. Nothing better than seeing the smile on someone’s face when you’ve given them a gift. Nothing more sacred than looking into someone’s eyes and knowing exactly how they feel. It’s in the midst of panic, and anxiety, and pain that we become numb to this gift. Unable to feel the unstoppable love that people are constantly sending to us. Whether that be a stranger’s gentile spirit, or a partner’s warm embrace — I have to believe that love is constantly coming to us. Constantly surrounding all of us. And although that love may sometimes be bruised, or incomplete, it is always waiting to be felt, and recieved. Waiting to be spotted like a deer wondering aimlessly in its natural habitat, or the oxygen atoms floating that keep us alive, it surrounds all of us all of the time. All we have to do is look, carefully, closely… and maybe it will save us. So this is me, an upcoming college freshman attending school in one of the loneliest cities in the world, looking for love anywhere I can find it — and hoping that my findings can save you.