What friendship is, and what it is not.

Friendship is a two-way street

That phrase is accurate in many senses.

Two-way street, because it needs reciprocity.

How many friendships have you tried to save and felt as if you were the only one that cared? The only one that planned the once-a-weeks? The only one that kept checking on how the other person was doing in life?

It is frustrating and pathetically disheartening.

What did I learn from my experiences? Don’t be that loser. Let them go. If they don’t see any meaning in the past shared memories, and put in zero efforts, they are decisively not worth our time and thoughts.

Two-way street, because we will always be on parallel lanes.

When we were young, there was only one lane, and we bumped into each other often (but in a good way).

After we grew up, the street got bigger and we were placed on separate lanes, chasing after different things. Even if we are heading towards one another, we will only be able to spend that few seconds when we are adjacent, to exchange nods and smiles. This might not even happen, because your friends might have their families in their passenger seats doing a sing-along, getting pumped for the road-trip they are heading off to, so you end up being the unnoticed passerby.

Although very few of my friends will pull over at a nearby cafe, and spend some time catching with me, I am grateful for the occasional “hi” we exchange while zooming across the street in lightning speed towards our life goals. Afterall, we all only have one life to live, and we owe it to ourselves to reach our desired destinations, or well, at least explore the neighbourhood.

Two-way street, because accidents can happen.

There bound to be someone in our lives that we clicked so well with from the very first time our eyes met. And yet, the friendships turned sour.

I don’t know about others, but I am a poor communicator of feelings and emotions. (Is that why i’m still single af? Highly likely. But maybe also because I have so many issues in my own head that will create a lot of discomfort for the person I share my life and love with. However, that’s a story for another time) I don’t know how to tell people that “hey, you are really cool, and I’d love to spend afternoons and evenings with you to know you better!”.

And even if we are good communicators, we hardly know what we really want out of the friendship, and what we expect of the friendship. We might have unrealistic expectations regarding loyalty. We might need less personal space and time than our friends. There were so many faults/cracks in the friendships when they first formed. Therefore, don’t fret when the friendships are lost. As cliche as it sounds, be grateful that it happens, learn from it, and move on.