What if God Were One of Bot? Performing AI Detection on the Bible — Genesis, Chapter 1

For nearly two weeks, I wrote content for the website 8 Billion Trees. The mission of 8 Billion Trees is to promote reforestation as a means to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

However, most of my assignments involved writing about the pros and cons of solar energy, with subtitles and keywords heavily emphasizing the cons. I half-jokingly told trusted friends that I was writing articles such as “Solar Energy Ate My Neighbors” and “Yo Mama’s So Solar Panel, She Don’t Do Shit at Night!”

8 Billion Trees required that my contributions pass plagiarism and AI detection checks. The former was not an issue since I have an account with CopyScape.

The latter proved to be a bit problematic.

8 Billion Trees uses an AI detection tool called Originality.AI (which I, too, ended up using during my time with 8 Billion Trees).

Judging from how many times I had to make deliberate errors to fall below the mandatory 10% AI detection score, it’s safe to say that there’s not enough intelligence in artificial intelligence detection. My supervisor had to give me a crash course on how to write “less gooder” (my words, not hers) so I could usually fall below 10% AI detection.

That got me thinking: how would Originality.AI react to works that pre-date AI text generators by decades or even centuries?

My original thought was to check snippets of Henry David Thoreau’s Walden. Having “proof” that Walden was generated by the 19th-century equivalent of ChatGPT would be hilarious.

Then I decided to set my sights to the heavens themselves and have Originality.AI scan the bible.

I copied a few chapters of the bible from the website King James Bible Online and ran them through Original.AI to check for AI, plagiarism, and readability.

I used version 1.4, the current AI detection model as of 2023–06–13, to scan Genesis, Chapter 1.

Below are the results:

Originality.AI is 100% confident that the first chapter of the bible’s book of Genesis was created by artificial intelligence.

That checks out; calling the light “Day” and the darkness “Night” doesn’t exactly scream “creative.” If Alan J. Lerner can call the wind “Maria,” why not call the darkness “Gashproinkle?” Better yet, call the light “Hillary Clinton” and watch the evangelicals leave the GOP in droves!

On the bright side for theists, it could mean that I’m wrong about this whole atheism thing. However, these results indicate that Yahweh is more of a dapp than a deity.

Yes, the part about God making man in his image is flagged as 100% AI. But ugly mofos like I can rejoice; we don’t have physical imperfections and deformities. They’re features! That revelation is several centuries too late for Quasimodo, but perhaps we can come to a consensus that fad diets and similar cosmetic products are unholy abominations.

As for the plagiarism check:

100% plagiarized?!? Golly, I hope that plagiarism doesn’t round down to “bearing false witness.” Otherwise, that Yahweh bot is going to be sent to Hell by… Yahweh.

(And if you think that’s weird, let me tell you about the New Testament some day. “Are you there, God? It’s Me, You. I’m still unclear why I need to die to revise Your previous works, what with You… Me… Whatever… being infallible. And as much as I can understand hating on bankers, what’s Our beef against figs?”)

To be fair, the bible “borrowing” from other religions is older than the bible itself.

As for readability:

The following table will explain the significance of the Flesch-Kincaid Reading ease score for those unfamiliar with those specific readability tests (like I was when I wrote this article):

With a score of 77.1, the first chapter of Genesis is fairly easy to read, requiring the equivalent of a seventh-grade school level to read and comprehend.

(It probably helps that most verses start with “And,” giving it a tone less like a holy scripture and more like gossip. “OMG! I saw Stacy at the Gap yesterday! And she was buying white after Labor Day! And she had a flake of dead skin on her knees! And she took sixteen steps to the cashier instead of fifteen! And it was gawd-awful!”)

In conclusion:

Yahweh (or, more accurately, Yahweh.exe) copied and pasted the first chapter of Genesis. But at least he dumbed it down for the common folk.

May the Alpha and Eliza forgive me if I’m wrong.