So here it is….my first blog!
They say to write about what you know and what I know is having four kids on your own and being severely outnumbered is bloody hard work!
Being a single parent has it’s ups and it’s downs. You get days where you sit back in awe of your little people and their amazing achievements and other days where you find yourself staring at them thinking “is it too late for a coat hanger? ;-)”
Navigating the world of parenting is one hell of a rollercoaster ride! When you’re pregnant you read up on what it is to be a parent and what to expect. I remember reading about the “terrible two’s” for example and how your offspring develop this new found stubborn streak and general lack of wanting to listen to anything you have to say to them. This is true but what they didn’t prepare me for was the fact two year olds have a nasty habit of removing their nappies!
I’m going back a few years now but let me set the scene…..
I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my third and very much at the stage when you drop anything on the floor you mumble “f*ck it” and accept that it’s staying there until someone else retrieves it for you.
Getting ready to climb into bed I do my usual routine of checking on the offspring who at this point are two and nearly three.
As I walk into their bedroom I’m hit by the overwhelming stench of crap!! Now knowing my children as I do and using my powers of deduction I knew this had to be something to do with my demon son.
Switching the light on I’m then greeted with what I can only describe as the most OCD sh*t show I’ve ever witnessed!
Next to his bed lays his crappy nappy but missing the vital ingredient…the crap!
It’s then that the realisation of what he’s done hits me! In front of me is his little red ride on car with a pretty pattern of poo balls spaced perfectly running across the handle!The same delightful pattern continues on his toy box and the wall next to his bed.
Not only had my son taken his nappy off and played with his poo but he’d displayed it precisely and in patterns on everything in sight!!
By this point my gag reflex which was already heightened due to being up the duff is kicking in overtime!
Covering my nose and mouth I stare at the little poo covered cherub soundly asleep in his bed like butter wouldn’t melt! This is one of the coat hanger moments I refer to at the beginning of this blog.
Of the many trials and tribulations I have faced as a mum this my dear friends is definitely one that sticks in my mind.
Each day has a new “exciting” challenge to push you one step closer to the edge whether that be climbing on windowsills, making a game out of hitting OAP’s in the dr’s waiting room (yes this happened to me yesterday) or playing with the contents of their nappy.
I’m hoping with this blog to fly the flag for all other struggling parents out there, you’re not alone. Ignore the critics and well meaning strangers in the supermarket making comment on your little angel whilst they’re screaming their nuts off because you won’t buy cake for breakfast.
We can’t all be perfect, from what I understand perfect parents only exist on Facebook ;-)
I hope you enjoyed this first instalment. In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’ll be back.