Burnt Out: Where do you go when you lose all of your drive?
All this work to try and do something and I’ve just hit a wall.
Not to whine but, I think its important to discuss or have a post about the realities of doing a startup or crowdfunding so others can understand what it REALLY takes and decide if they have the stomach for it.
I’ve had a setback with my web developer. Hindsight 20/20, it’s been a long time coming. You know what I am talking about if you have ever tried to create something from your mind with someone else. I find myself just not …wanting to engage in my own project. The weight has become so overwhelming, the joy is gone.
I feel like the more I learn, the less I know. It’s discouraging to have spent so much time and effort working to learn and do something only to realize you have only just scratched the surface and in the end. It’s just more…everything you left the “grind” to escape.
Being the boss is NOT always what it seems…finding others you can successfully collaborate with and not end up hitting an impasse.
I haven’t wanted to see myself as a quitter but, I find myself wanting to run. If it makes you feel any better — this space is the place I found a solace in confiding in. I think, no I believe, this is a very good thing and perhaps you might find a need to address this condition in yourself. So, I thought I would show you how.
I started all of this not for myself, exactly…but I did do it for me. I thought I could make someone else’s dreams come true using the skills I worked hard to develop. Being able to do what I do and do it well. I felt like it would fill the hole in myself.
But it hasn’t. It can’t.
When you are doing things for others, to prove something to other people — instead of seeing the joy of your work for yourself — it’s draining. When you hear other people talk about you, like the effort you went through to support them wasn’t …valuable. To them its effortless, why else would you do more for someone else than you would do for yourself?
Some people don’t value love but, I guess if they are not giving the same effort you are — well ODF (own damn fault). Compound it with finding someone who loves you just for being you, faults and all, you stop caring about pleasing others. You start caring about pleasing yourself and that’s when you realize what’s really important to you — the person who has to live the life you’ve been given.
I’m a smart loving person who needs to care about myself and those who have shown me how much they care about me first. Everyone else…I hope you enjoyed our time together.