Twitchy Fingers

From my journal

The morning of Day 2 was harder than the morning of Day 1.

Addiction. It’s about rewarding the brain. I’ve been in recovery from drugs and alcohol for over 24 years but I still have neural patterns of impairment relating to pleasure, emotions and behaviors.

Social media is designed to give little serotonin boosts. Scrolling through Facebook or Instagram provides a convenient distraction from my thoughts and feelings. It never feels pleasurable, though. I search relentlessly for something I’m never going to find.

Oleksii Zahreba posted a challenge that caught my eye, Stop Using Your Phone as an Alarm Clock. I want to cut back on my screen time and re-engage with my own creative process. My mind fills up with too much chatter from others.

I don’t use my phone as an alarm clock but I do check it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. March 29 was Day 1. I wrote Morning Pages (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way) for the first time in a couple years. I used two hours in the evening to draw (dazzling art work above) and write in my journal again about things I can do with four non-electronic hours in the day.

This morning was hard. My fingers got twitchy holding my phone. Should I? Shouldn’t I? I felt a sense of relief when it was time. I checked my phone.

Oleksii’s challenge is for 21 days. One day at a time, I’m willing to give it a try and see what happens.

What about you? Want to join a not-so-anonymous support group of two?