Appreciating The Woman’s Body
To be able to grow a human inside your body is really fascinating when you think about it. Some of us take for granted that a women can create and bring a human into the world while still “living her normal life.” I say some because I acknowledge there are women that desire to be pregnant more then anything else, and they do not take it for granted. Sending positive vibes and extra strength to those women.
I got pregnant nearly immediately when I started trying with my husband. I had been working as a Technical Engineering Recruiter in my first job out of college for about 3 years in a small office. I had a pretty smooth and easy pregnancy and was so lucky to have a healthy baby in August 2009. I could only take 7 weeks off after birth due to financial reasons and by October I was back to work full time. My parents were gracious enough to watch my son two days a week so he only had to go to daycare 3 days a week. Another privilege I recognize many do not have and I am eternally grateful for.
Three months back into that office I knew I had bigger things ahead of me and I started applying to jobs. I knew I wanted a new industry to recruit for. I also knew without a doubt I was meant to be a recruiter and would always have that passion to help others (still do). I found a company on Monster.com that advertised healthcare staffing and if you work hard enough and place a certain amount of providers you can earn a trip to the Caribbean each year. This seemed completely ridiculous and that meant I had to apply. If anyone knows me, I LOVE to travel, LOVE IT.
Over my nearly ten years at that company, I went on that trip seven times. I worked for six different men and never any women directly. We were in the top 25 largest healthcare staffing companies in the country and we were being run by nearly all men. After a couple of years I became a Team Leader in the division. I learned how to be a leader from the male perspective and it took years for me to learn that I could be my own version of a manager, I didn't have to be theirs. I taught myself to include compassion and empathy in my approach and strived to be more of a positive impact with better communication then a metric obsessed dictatorship.
In spring 2012 I was fortunate to get pregnant shortly after we started trying for our next baby. We told close friends and family nearly immediately because we were about seven weeks and never considered that we would have any issues. At work one day I went to the bathroom and immediately knew that something was wrong. I called my OB office and they said I should come in although I didn't need them to tell me what was happening, I knew. I had to tell my boss that I was leaving work and not coming back for the day. But I didn't know how to tell this middle aged bachelor with no kids that I was having a miscarriage. I did anyway. And after I drove myself to the doctor’s office and cried the whole way. There was no bereavement available for miscarriage's and since I had to save my PTO to use when the baby was born, I was back at work the next day. The amount of things wrong with that last sentence is an entire other blog post about the fucked up American culture around pregnancy and parental leave.
I would have one more miscarriage in summer of 2012 and by Fall I was pregnant again, this time on hormones to help keep the pregnancy thriving. Whatever it was, worked, and in July 2013 I had my rainbow baby. All while working about 50+ hours a week and raising a toddler. This is all expected of us as women, we expect it of ourselves and of other women too. We take for granted our own strength and how hard our bodies are working to create life while we live our lives.
I returned to work six weeks after my baby was born, although from home, and I was trying to care for a newborn, while working full days — it was basically impossible. I had no self-care and my ability to function each day still surprises me based on the sleep deprivation. Because not only do we take for granted that we can grow humans, we also can feed them directly from our body. So once the little sucker comes out, they continue to suck the life out of you!
I am so fortunate to have two healthy kids that I was able to raise during a fantastic career. I am so grateful for the opportunities this profession has offered me and my kids. And I am super grateful for my body that has carried me through all of these experiences. If you are lucky enough to have your mom, call and thank her for all her and her body’s hard work.
