Separate yourself from the first sign of anything that resembles negativity or laziness — the second you see it.
Otherwise, plan on embracing the blame for your inevitable failure — because that toxicity will eventually destroy you.
I will lead with this: “Keep your circles tight like a shot group .” This phrase, often heard at a weapons range or in the military, can be applied and utilized in a variety of ways. Feel free to adopt it as your new, “proactive approach” to ensuring your sanity.
Here is an excerpt from a previous conversation to set the mood:
“There is an enormous opportunity for us here. The clients can’t stop smiling and bragging to their friends about us. With the right amount of finesse, leveraging our diverse experiences in business, and utilizing our hustle; we are sitting in a prime spot to build a great relationship. Let’s do this now!”
Ever been a part of this promising conversation, only to get “crickets” in return? Sure it sucks and can be quite deflating when it happens; but don’t let it get you down for too long. Consider it a favor and take the hint; its time to cut sling and move off in a different direction. Without hesitation, separate yourself from negativity and laziness the second you see it; it will eventually drag you down if you can’t.
You can’t swim very long with cinder blocks chained around your feet. Some relationships aren’t meant to be kept forever, but to serve as a warning sign to the potential detriment that may lie ahead of you.
Sometimes in life we have to realize that the ones around us don’t always have the best intentions in mind, and the efforts being made in certain relationships are not valued or reciprocated. Whether professionally or personally, the context is irrelevant. At that point in time, it’s appropriate to make some hard decisions.
In order to preserve your own sanity and ensure your progressive evolution, you must solidify the positive bonds that are true to what you believe. Focus on the “amazing” in your life, and be strong enough to ignore the garbage and eliminate it. There is nothing wrong with taking a “social inventory” once in a while and purging the dead weight that may sporadically gravitate towards you from time to time. I believe the term is “addition by subtraction”, and it certainly plays a large part in understanding the perspective of how time, loyalty and trust, determines how we “remember” the moments that sit at the foundations of our relationships, good or bad, throughout our lives.
By coming to the realization that people either grow apart, or strengthen, their bonds throughout life, we can begin to hit the “refresh button” emotionally and mentally, to make sure we are filtering the most “good” into our life, and hitting the release valve on the negativity. By creating that extra space, you allow the opportunity for more of your positive energy to be focused on what matters to your future well-being, and reinforcing the great things that currently fill your life.
While there may be a few justified nostalgic reasons or hesitations to stop you from finally “pulling the trigger” and severing a toxic relationship, or a connection that lacks any form of positive reciprocity, the longer you let it linger and continue to justify its existence, the more it will divert your attention away from the good in your life. As a result, this will only leave you focusing on unnecessary and unproductive drama. Ever heard someone say, “I could have been doing “xyz” but now I have to deal with this bullshit again”? Well, most of the time, it’s their own fault.
The mental opportunity cost of retaining worthless, un-supportive people in your life can be catastrophic. The longer is stays around, the more its invasive characteristics begin to creep into the other aspects of your life, directly affecting unrelated alliances, and creating unwarranted stress. This will directly influence how that time is spent with your strong relationships, and over time, will act as a cancer; infiltrating, contaminating, and eventually compromising — perfectly good relationships.
Sometimes you just have to say fuck it, and take out the trash.
Keep your circles tight like a shot group. It is far better to have one true advocate and friend in your corner that exudes true reciprocity of devoted brotherhood, then to have a crew full of acquaintances that have misaligned intentions and draw speculation and deception when the shit hits the fan. You are building life-long relationships, not collecting baseball cards.
Of course this should all be carried out with the intention of diplomacy and compassion; but we all know it doesn’t always happen that way. If it should however, ever escalate to the last resort level of survival, just make sure your hand is the one holding the hammer. Always walk a mile to avoid a fight, but if it finds you, never back down an inch.
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Christopher W. Martin
Loriakin Seven
443 848 8687
