Hi. I just viewed your video “People are Awesome 2017 — Best Compilations of the Week” on YouTube. I like the edits. Mixing it up between land and water, skydiving and skateboarding, etc. make for a hyper-textural experience in addition to the adrenaline thrills. I’ve subscribed to your channel so I look forward to more entertaining excitement.
Now, as to what you’ve written to accompany your videos on YouTube, I found a few grammatical errors and a couple of places where I think you can make more effective word choices. One of the things I do for a living is line editing. I hope you don’t mind but I’d like to offer the following corrections in grammar and word choice. If you find it helpful, let me know, if not, just ignore it.
This is a screenshot of your text with my corrections marked. I’ve crossed out the errors in red, written my changes in blue and highlighted my changes in yellow so they’d show up better. Below that is the corrected text with all the changes made so you can read through.
Olsjon, I’m still new to Medium so please forgive me if you can’t read that tiny thing. What I did was correct some grammar, i.e. capitalized the personal pronoun I in the first sentence, changed has to have and in to is, that sort of thing. I also replaced some of the repetitive words (like amazing and original) with words that mean the same thing but won’t repeat what has already been said. The same goes for the phrase “video compilations” which you will find I’ve shortened in places to either compilations or clips just to break things up a bit.
One thing I did not add but I thought you may want to consider is a warning at the end of the first paragraph. Perhaps something like, “Please don’t try this at home.” Or, “ The stunts, tricks and skills documented in these videos are dangerous and require proper precautions. Don’t try these at home or alone.” Okay, can you tell I’m not an extreme sport kind of person? I’m just thinking adding something like this might offset any lawsuits from unhappy parents. I don’t know how those things work. It’s just a suggestion.
In case you are having a hard time reading the screen shot, here’s the final draft that includes the changes I’ve made. Like I said, if you don’t want to use them, of course you don’t have to; but if you do, please let me know. -PEACE-
Final draft of edited webpage copy:
In this video I have tried to collect the most exciting action clips for this week. All the boys and girls in these videos exhibit high skill levels.
Remember to subscribe for more videos.
Thanks for watching our amazing, original video compilations of ordinary people doing extraordinary things! Check out our channel for more People Are Awesome compilations.
Create Awesome is your one destination for breathtaking, heart-stopping clips of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. We feature all sorts of different extreme sports, activities, and other amazing feats including parkour, skateboarding, tricking, cliff diving, wingsuit flying, skiing, snowboarding, surfing, BMX, acrobatics, calisthenics, cheerleading, freestyle football, basketball dunks, extreme pogo, freerunning, cycling, kayaking, frisbee trick shots, golf, martial arts, BASE jumping, and a host of other action sports! Check out our amazing and original action sports videos in HD to see why we think people are awesome!