My Cup of Coffee
I think these last few weeks; I was on stage of denial. Denying that I was depressed, denying that I was sad, and denying that I am a loser.
Every morning, I didn’t feel getting up on time though everyone in the house was so pissed off with my snoozing alarm clock. I was working the whole day but in fact, I only started doing it after lunch. I tried to kill time by doing nothing at all. Then clock ticks at 5:00 pm, I thought I will feel better going home, but I was wrong. So, maybe by going to grocery or mall will change my mood, but I had no idea what to buy, ‘coz I’ve been going back & forth still didn’t get anything to take home, not even a single snack. When I got home, I turned on the TV series I used to follow before, while scrolling my Facebook page on my phone. Damn, still it didn’t change my feeling. My feeling of emptiness, this feeling that my faith has ended, that everything seems to be useless. Every single day, for how many weeks or so, this has been my daily routine; my routine that goes to nowhere.
I’ve been like this since I got 46. I’ve realized I’m getting older. My wrinkles starts showing up on my face & on my hand. People around me have been telling me “Man that’s sign of aging”. Though I know for a fact that it is, still I feel sad reaching this age. Maybe because I did not accomplish something yet, maybe because my life didn’t even change & I got stuck from where I was.
Until I read one analogy (from unknown), that moved me.
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.
Why did you spill the coffee?
“Well because someone bumped into me, of course!”
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.
Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out.
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.
So we have to ask ourselves… “what’s in my cup?”
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratefulness, peace, humility & acceptance?
Or anger, bitterness, harsh words and reactions?
Today let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation for ourselves; and kindness, gentleness and love for others.
I hope that the real author of this analogy will read this article, so he /she will know how he /she touched people, especially me, who‘s been suffering this battle within. I learned that acceptance must be the first thing I have to do. It will not be that easy, but at least, one step of moving forward will create a big leap of change.