Satisfied in You.
Human beings are not made to say goodbye. We were meant to live in a place where we would always be able to see each other, and we wouldn’t have to worry about not seeing each other again. It makes it hard to say the goodbyes that we inevitably have to, because our minds weren’t made to wrap themselves around leaving a person, potentially for the rest of our earthly lives. Case in point, I took a personality test called the strengthsfinder earlier this summer, and my first strength was communication, but I’ve been at a loss for words far more times than I care to admit in the past 24 hours. I’ve had to say goodbye to people I love, and there are genuinely not words to describe what that feels like. In the midst of this, I listened to the song Satisfied in You (Psalm 42) by The Sing Team, and was captivated by this;
Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness
Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest
Let my losses show me all I truly have is you
I have sighed a lot in the past day, and felt both pain and loss as people I care about immensely departed from my life, just as I was departing from theirs.
God has spoke truth into my life a few times, but the first, and most significant of these times came at one of my lowest points ever. I was sitting in the prayer chapel at a summer camp after my junior year of high school, feeling utterly abandoned for reasons I won’t go into, but in that moment I felt the presence of Jesus sitting to my right, and He spoke into my mind, “You are not alone.” I’ve pondered that a whole heck of a lot since it happened, asking the usual questions of whether it was real or imagined, as well as what it truly means. At the end of the day, I think it was Him speaking to me, and what He was saying is that even if all those around me deserted me, at worst, I would be left alone with God, and that’s not a bad situation to be left in.
The reason I even mention that is because yesterday, it felt like I was losing all those closest to me. I’m writing this during a layover in the Denver airport, as I leave the incredible community that is Fresh Life church in Montana, where I interned this summer. Me and my whole intern class are being spread across the country like chaff in the wind, and there’s a fair chance some of us won’t ever see each other again, despite the fact that during this summer I built relationships with them that I will cherish for the rest of my life. There’s a part of me that wishes the internship could have gone on forever, but I also know that every member of my intern class is called to something higher than that, and so comes the painful process of goodbyes.
However, as these people and I leave each other, I am reminded that all I have is God. At the end of the day, if I am not alone as a result of God’s presence, than ultimately, I am alone with God. Whether we like it or not all the relationships we have with people on this earth will come to some sort of an end. We may be reunited with those people again in heaven, which is a great comfort, but inevitably there has to be that goodbye at one time or another. That being said, this is not cause for sadness, but in fact comes as a chance to rejoice, as those losses of relationships bring us to remember even more greatly the only constant we have, that being our relationship with the Father.
He is a God that is for us no matter what, and there is His redemption in all that happens on this earth. It’s hard to remember, and I’ve been brought to tears plenty of times trying to do it, but what I do know is that it brings some sweetness into something that is far more bitter than there are words for. Our hearts may not be able to bear the burden of these loses, but we can be satisfied in the fact that nothing, neither heights, nor depths, nor angels, nor demons, nor goodbyes, nor lost friendships, can separate us from the love of our Father in heaven.
Originally published at theforlornemoose.wordpress.com on August 16, 2016.