The Beginning of the End
I will start from the beginning, I met my partner in November of last year (2016) and he was addicted to Marijuana for many years before I met him and he was still doing it till January 28th and that was the day he gave it up. As the days, weeks and months went past I was super proud, like I had never been so proud of someone for over coming such a difficult challenge and it made me feel good because I was the one that helped him beat the drug.
Well, so I thought,
Lets call him ‘M’.
M and I broke up a few weeks ago because I thought he was cheating on me as he stopped being on time for things, really low sex drive, slept all the time and would hardly ever reply or his phone would be “flat”. He quit his job out of the blue one day and told me he didnt want to be there anymore and I believed him until last night. When we broke up we decided that we’d work on ourselves, he’d find a job — he went to Taupō for a week to look for a job, i wrote his CV and his cover letters for him while he was down there trying to find something. He came back last week and we went down hill, we fought like never before and he scared me to the point that i was thinking “how am I going to defend myself if he fits me”. He accused me of cheating on him and it got to me and then I yelled till I had no voice left about him cheating on me cause why else would he always be late, never answer calls or phones turned off. So to me cheating what he was doing and he never denied it.
Last night I went out with some friends from work and I couldn’t stop thinking about him so i got taken home early and as soon as I got home I tried calling but surprise surprise his phone was off. At 12am he called me back and I burst into tears cause I just wanted to see him, so he came over. I opened the door and he walked straight past me and as soon as he did that I knew something was up. We went ingto my room and he just started yelling and accusing me of cheating on him, this went till about 2 hours and then I told him to leave and he tried to leave but there was something he needed to tell me.
“I’m addicted to Meth”.
Those are the words that came out of his mouth.
I was heart broken. I’m only 20, I’ve only heard of the drug on the news. He told me he gave up marijuana but then 2 weeks later he tried Meth and has been hooked ever since. The love of my life wasn’t the love of my life anymore, I didn’t know who this man was standing in front or me. He didn’t quit his job, he was fired because his drug habit stopped him from turning up to work or whne he was at work he’d go home early everyday and they had enough and let him go. When he lost his job, I was paying for his rent, cigarettes and gas, so the money he did make by selling drugs was to support his drug habit.
I felt like a failure of a girlfriend, all of the ‘help me’ signs were there but I never once answered them when he was trying to reach out for my help. All those times I thought he was cheating, he was actully on the pipe getting high before he would do anything with me. I hate myself for not being a girlfriend and helping him with this disease.
So this is where I leave it for now. The rest of this blog will be updated once a week to let you guys know how it goes and what its like to be a girlfriend of someone who is trying to give up the drug.
