It’s Time to Go

I need to get away in order to be myself. I’ve been in disguise for years; I’m fucking tired. It’s not even this place making me act like this. It’s a costume I’ve built for myself. For whatever reason, it seemed necessary, but my god it is heavy. I don’t even think about it; I just find myself dressed in front of every one. I can hear myself, see myself, pretending. It’s all a lie. It’s unfair to myself and everyone around me. I know myself better than anyone else, simply because no one else knows me. That’s why staying here scares me more than leaving to the unknown. I’m losing myself. Living inside my head is driving me insane. I’m desperate to let someone know what’s going on. I’ve tried… Once I open my mouth though, the costume is zipped up, and I’m disguised once again. Unwillingly hiding at this point. I cannot help it here. There is no help for me here. I need to get away in order to be myself.